I am NOT and Never Will Be A Jedi

Welcome Buddy

   That night, I didn't sleep a wink. I kept thinking about what my new school would be like. Would I fit in? Will people really think I'm a Jedi? Will I make it to winter break?

    But one question kept coming back to me; Could I really be a Jedi? I wondered if maybe Master Yoda was right. Maybe I was Force sensitive. Maybe I could pull it off.

   Unfortunately, I was thinking much too hopefully. My first day was a disaster!

   It all started when I stepped up to the Welcome Desk. A bearded man greated me with a smile, "Hello there. I am Master Obi-wan Kenobi, Head of Student Communications. You must be Kevin Groundcrawler."

   I nodded and Master Kenobi slapped a sticker that said, "Hello my name is Kevin Groundcrawler" onto my chest. The sticker had a big smiley face under the writing and I could tell that the sticker would not be my friend today.

   Then, Master Kenobi motioned toward a kid standing beside him. "This is my Padawan, Anakin Skywalker. He will be your Welcome Buddy! Say "hello" Anakin." The tall boy said nothing and Master Kenobi repeated himself through gritted teeth, "Say "hello" Anakin!" Anakin finally sighed and acknowledged me, "Hello. Welcome to the Jedi Academy. I'm Anakin Skywalker, your Welcome Buddy. Allow me to show you to your first class..." Anakin replied without much expression. I could tell he didn't want to be helping me. But I smiled anyways, "Thanks."

    I began following Anakin down a long hallway that seemed to stretch across the entire planet. Anakin didn't say a word to me so I decided to make the first move- a very bad decision I might add...

   "So... what's it like being a Padawan?" I asked. Anakin groaned, "Don't remind me of that stupid word. I hate being called a Padawan!" He began walking faster and I had to hurry to keep up. "Oh, sorry," I replied. Anakin sighed, "Whatever, where's your first class anyways?" I looked down at my schedule, "Lightsaber Mechanics, Room 12B."

    Anakin chuckled, "Oh, that class was okay. Just make sure you put in your power cell before you attach the focusing lens." I nodded, "Uh, thanks."

   We came to Room 12B and Anakin opened the door for me, "Alright, I'll come back to take you to your next class later. Good luck... you're gonna need it!"

    I walked into class with a heavy stack of books under my arm. My eyes widened at the sight of an old man with a huge head! "Welcome, I am Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. We have a seat for you right in the front row." He motioned to a seat that was so close to his own desk that with any luck, I might be able to read his cheat sheets. I quietly sat down and that's when class began.

   "Now, yesterday we covered the basic steps to building your saber. I have the pieces placed out on your desk along with a sheet of instructions. You may all begin." I stared at the mess of words on the instruction manual. Master Big Brains looked over my shoulder, "Would you like me to go over the steps with you, Kevin?" He asked. I shook my head, "I'm fine, thank you."

   Master Big Brains nodded and left me to my work. How hard could it be? After all, I didn't win the Coruscant Youth Engineering Contest for nothing!

   I got to work and assembled the hilt with ease. The energy gate and crystal were easy enough to attach to the control cylinder and it came time to hook on the power cell. Without another look at the instructions, I screwed on the cell and got the surprise of my life! The bright blue blade sprung to life and shot across the room. Now, I hadn't seen many lightsabers in my life time, But I could tell that I had done something wrong! Instead of stopping around one meter long, the beam of light continued shooting through the room. A few kids screamed a ducked for cover but the one person who didn't see it coming was Master Big Brains. My sword zipped right under his chin and through his snow white beard; slicing a good chunk of the facial hair right of his face. I frantically yanked the power cell from my lightsaber and the blue ray retracted back to its origin.

   Every kid in the class turned toward me and Master Big Brains glared furiously. In his hand he held a large pile of white fluff. I can just imagine how red my face must have been. And I'm not sure if it was from the embarrassment, the fear, or the anger at the realization that I had been tricked. Played. Bamboozled.

     By my Welcome Buddy,