I am NOT and Never Will Be A Jedi

Master Grammi-ma and the Happyland Adventure

    I had survived my first day at the Jedi Academy...

    Or so I thought.

     Anakin invited me over to his living quarters to study. Little did I know that Anakin's idea of studying was throwing paper wads at me while I studied. "Can you stop that?" I asked in annoyance. Anakin tossed another paper wad my way, "Can you stop studying? None of the stuff in that text book is gonna help you anyways."

    I looked up just as the flying paper bounced off my face, "What do you mean?" Anakin levitated the book out of my lap, "Jedi don't study for exams. We learn on the job. For instance, I couldn't have learned that it was a bad idea to attempt riding a Gelagrub blindfolded from a text book. I learned it from experiance!" he noted proudly. I raised my eye brows, "You tried to ride a Gelagrub when you couldn't see?"

    Anakin shook his head, "Of course not! The Gelagrub was the blindfolded one." he answered sincerely.

    I reached for my book as Anakin moved it out of my reach, "I've had enough experience for one day," I objected," I've learned not to listen to you for lightsaber construction advice, not to ask bullies for pilot grease, not to insult the lunch lady, not to let my apple slug stew run away, and not to stare at girls in a room full of laser shooting torture balls!"

    Anakin rolled his eyes, "Oh come on, those were training bots. They keep the torture droids in the detention room," he corrected. I ignored him, "And above all, I learned that I am not and never will be, a Jedi!"

    Anakin hurled a crumbled paper at me. But not playfully. His expression suddenly turned from goofy to grim, "Hey, don't talk like that. If you don't believe in yourself, how can you think others will, huh? I believe in you. And I say that Kevin, Groundcrawler will be the greatest Jedi the galaxy has ever met!... Well, besides me of course," he added with cockiness.

    I smiled sadly, "Well Anakin, I wish I had your confidence."

    Anakin's face lit up with an idea, "Hey, if it's confidence you want, have I got the place for you! Come on!" he jumped up and dashed toward the door. I stayed seated, "But I-" Anakin hushed me, "Silence Young Groundcrawler! Obey your Master Skywalker you will!"

    I sighed and followed him out the door.

    For about half an hour, I began to feel like the blindfolded Gelagrub on account of Anakin's destination being top secret. Beneath the blindfold, my other senses searched for clues.

     The air was more warm and moist. The Underworlds. The sound of exotic ships were like drumming rhythms in my ears and through the thin cloth over my eyes I could see flashing sources of light. The Upiside up the Underworlds. The one thing that assured me my location was the thick smell of death sticks and Meltdowns. Happyland. I thought in horror. Anakin guided me off the tram, "Anakin? We're not where I think we are, are we?" I ask. Anakin patted my shoulder, "Don't worry Grease, you can trust me!"

    Just then, I hear a new voice speaking to us, specifically Anakin, "What are you kids doing here? Don't you know that this town is restricted after curfew?" a grumbly voice asked. Anakin seemed to be playing things cool so I kept quiet, "Good evening Officer! Yes, I know we are out after curfew, but trust me, I have a very noble reason for doing so," he replied in a heartfelt tone. The officer didn't sound like he bought it, "And what would that be?" he interrogated. Anakin pet my head a few times, "Well Sir, I am a member of the Coruscant Disabled Society Foundation. We help injured children and aliens in their everday lives. I'm currently helping this eyeless, deaf, little boy visit his great grandmother who lives just down the street..." I could almost see the fake tear trickling down Anakin's cheek as he fibbed the sob story to the officer.

    Doing my best to help, I nodded, "Uh-huh," I agreed, but Anakin slammed his boot down on mine, for a deaf boy could not answer a question if he did not hear it. As the officer studied us, I decided to step up my act, "Oh Grammi-ma, where are you? Grammi-ma!" I cried. The officer seemed to accept our story after my little improv and we began walking again. Anakin whispered something to me, "Nice one Grease. I knew you were a keeper!" he complimented.

    I smirked happily, "Thank you Grammi-ma," I joked in a smart way.

    But apparently Anakin didn't like my remark because in a few seconds, Anakin had a foot in front of my own and I ended up on the ground.