I am NOT and Never Will Be A Jedi

Studying, Study Dates, and Dating (all at the same time)

Where do I begin?

That afternoon, I got a lot more information about Anakin Skywalker's personal life than I ever cared to know. Apparently Padme Amidala, the girl I had met in college, was a good friend of his. Of course, that was only in Anakin's mind. In reality, he had met her a long time ago and his master helped her home planet of Naboo. Anakin claims to have helped by taking down the mother ship but I'm not one hundred percent convinced.

So anyways, "good friends" must be a very relative term since they haven't spoken to each other since then. I'm guessing it's because Anakin is about five years younger than her. But to be fair, Anakin is one smooth talker when it comes to the ladies (or should I say Lady Bev the Lunch Lady who is a lot more than five years older than Anakin, to say the least.)

"Don't underestimate the power of my good looks," he assured me confidently. "Anakin," I began, "I know I haven't memorized the entire Jedi Handbook, but I believe it mentions that we are forbidden to love," I reminded him. He seemed to laugh as if I had just said the most ridiculous thing in the galaxy. "Don't be silly Grease! Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden," he explained. I raised my eye brows, "And what would you define love as?" I asked. Anakin grinned proudly, "Compassion, which is essential to a Jedi's life," he continued fluently.

I rolled my eyes, "So what? Are you saying we are encouraged to love?" I elaborated sarcastically. He must have been delusional. But still, he kept on smiling, "That's exactly what I'm saying! Now here's my idea: Go visit your friends in genius school and tell them you wanted to stop in and say hello. After that, tell Padme that Anakin Skywalker says hi. She'll probably say something like, 'you mean that super cool kid who saved my home planet from sure destruction?' and you'll just say yes. And finally, and here's where it gets tricky, ask her if she wants to hang out with me sometime. But don't make me sound desperate or anything!"

I listened to him babble about this extraordinary plan for at least ten minutes. "But you are desperate," I rebuked.

"Am not!" Anakin defended.

"You're coming to me for relationship help. That's as desperate as it gets."

Anakin sighed, "Do you want help in school or not? If you do, then you better straighten up, young man!"

Well let me tell you young man, I straightened up.