"As gang members, as young dudes in the streets, especially in L.A., we're the effect of a situation. We didn't wake up and create our own mindstate and our environment; we adapted our survival instincts." -Nipsey Hussle
It's been a couple weeks since I laid my brother in the dirt. It's actually Thanksgiving Day to be exact and California decided to bless us with a sunny day. The weather was nice which meant The first the woman were out and so was the money.
Red chucks covered my feet ass my cuffed tan dickie pants hung loosely around top of them. I walked through a bear by alley with a few of my homie boys behind puffing away at a blunt.
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The color was repped only made people move to the other side of the street just to just away. While the frown I wore have no room for anyone to speak. My once dark wavy hair was now bleach blonde. I felt like I needed a change and this was the best way to do it without loosing my mind. Walking these streets knowing there was no possible way I would run into my older brother ate at me everyday. As time goes on his name is less spoken in the streets because niggas are on to other shit while my family has been ripped apart.
Marcus was the glue that held us together, that held me together and without him I feel like there's nothing I got to lose. My momma is a strong woman but I know my choices disappoint her though she'll never say it to my face. That's why I try to keep my distance because it something does happen to me out here in these streets she'll be able to leave her days like any other, without seeing me.
The sound of my homeboy Red running his mouth about some bitch he fucked last night was starting to irritate me because that's all he did was run his mouth. He was just like the bitch he fucking, kissing and telling. I don't care if it's a random bitch or my lady nobody will never know what we do behind closed doors because it ain't their business. I don't need to constantly say I get pussy or prove I'm that nigga because it's already been stamped. Women see me and they want to fuck because they heard from another bitch I could change they life. Niggas see me and envy because I'm everything they not. That's why I stay to myself and I ride alone because mothafuckas always want something from you even when they say they down. I trust no one in this hood but my brother and now that he's gone all I got is myself.
An untrustworthy life is a lonely one but it's necessary to survive.
Once we hit the corner I passed the blunt to Red before stepping up on the sidewalk. We passed a few houses who had people hanging out on their front sending a few head nods and hand shakes when needed as my eyes drifted to my car that was parked at the curb. I noticed a few yungins had crowded around it trying to take pictures and look like they owned it but when one of them noticed I had reappeared they quickly motioned for the rest to move.
I noticed a familiar face in the little niggas before I lifted my hand pointing at who I wanted to come here. All the little niggas started turning and looking to see who I was talking to but he knew by the look of guilt written all over his face. He tried to hide behind his friends but when I stopped dead in my tracks staring across the street he knew today wasn't the time for games. Making his way pass his friends and across the street towards me little dude whose name is Chucky rolled his eyes like he was mad at something.
