Love you forever

Chapter seventeen / love comes not easy one

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul. That makes us reach for more. That plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.
That I hope to give you....forever.
The notebook.

Late the following day
Deep in the jungle.
"We can stop here for tonight here."Ballu spoke in an exhausted tone.
She looked around...ahhhhmmmm..sighing dejectedly. Well! there didn't seem any place to rest safely. But then I knowing Ballu, they normally had places chalked out on all the routes in and around Kundalgad, some place where they could put up safely for the night.
It was getting dark, just a few more minutes of light were left. They had left Kundalgad early that morning, quietly in the dark. Only baba and Kaka were present there to see her off. Till the end baba had been hesitant to let her go on her own, but finally she had hugged him breaking off his argument. Something she had never done before, but these were extreme times.
"Keep my home for mother and me to return to." She said, then before she broke up and started crying she turned quickly and got on to her horses.
Her parting words she hoped would give him hope, although she knew that she wouldn't be able to come back, she could hardly tell the dear man that. He was not a fighter and he had already put a lot at risk, by coming with her. But he did not know about Rudra and her, and she could hardly tell him the reason she could never return. She just wouldn't be able to see Rudra with another woman, he will have gotten married by then to her, his wife Sambhava!!! A sharp pain pierced her chest. Just the thought of it causing her so much pain. The Chief had told her, after she had read the letter, and asked permission to leave. He had given it gladly, even telling her she was most welcome back in Kundalgad, but then he went on and asked her if she could stay back a few days and attend Rudra's engagement ceremony. She had stood there shell shocked, absolutely stunned. She had barely kept her expressions normal, in front of the chief. She had managed to give the right expressions, say the correct word.
Why hadn't Rudra told her. And their marriage, his promise in the Shiva temple, their night together. Ringing in her mind.
"Oh! Rudra didn't tell me he was getting engaged?" It came out before she realised she said it. She did not know how to look at him. She did anyway. But to her pleasant surprise, he was indulgently similing. He did not look offended by her outburst.
"Oh since you both are friends, I shall let out the surprise to you. Rudra, he does not know yet. I haven't spoken to him still. I will be announcing it to the people after I tell him. I still need to tell the boy." He was obviously extremely happy. She had come to like this man. He was so unlike her own father. He cared for all around him. He was always thinking about his people and their well-being. She really had come to like and respect him. She would miss him. She said the right words, congratulated him and then left. She knew now she had to leave as soon as possible before she broke down.
Once they were out of the village, Baba and she, they both visibly relaxed.
"Kumari Kaushika!"
"Baba! I am still and always will be Gaura to you." She said as they continued walking to wards their home.
"Gaura! (He loved this girl, she was like his own daughter and she proved her love and respect for him every time.) What will you do now?" He was not liking the thought of her leaving and stepping out into the dangerous world. He would follow her, keep her safe.
"Baba Chandrika is waiting for me. I will not know all till I don't meet her. But this much is clear, that Chandrika has found mother. And I need to leave for Paliyana as soon as possible. Send a message by pigeon courier for her to wait for me in Paliyana.
I will meet her there two days from now. I need to leave tomorrow, as early as possible."
"Well I will send Kaka off to the courier immediately, the courier will listen to him. Ah! then I will call for Rudra. He will send someone trustworthy with you."
"No Baba!" She barely managed to contain her distress. " Not Rudra. We cannot let him know anything."
"But he is your friend and the Chief of the guards he will send....."
"No baba! Knowing Rudra he will want to escort me and we cannot do that to him. The chief just told me that Rudra is getting engaged tomorrow night. He will want to leave everything to escort me."
"You are right my child! Then who?"
"Ballu! Baba. He is my friend and like a brother to me. He knows the ways and will take me safely. Only we will have to make sure he does not tell Rudra. You will have to make him swear an oath."
Baba and Kaka had escorted her to the exit bridge the next day where Ballu was waiting for her, questions written all over his face. She had ignored him, simply not able to talk to him at that moment. He had gone to the watch man waiting near the bridge, spoken to him for a few minutes then returned and climbed on to his horse. Since that time they had been travelling. They had gone slowly, after descending the ravine Ballu had taken a turn right, this route was different. Not the one they had taken to come to Kundalgad. This one was narrower and extremely risky. They had barely spoken, she too broken up inside at having to leave Rudra. And Ballu too upset at having left Kundalgad without being able to tell Rudra. Although the chief had told him not to tell anyone even Rudra, he still did not feel right about taking Gaura away. Not when he knew what he knew. He hadn't been able to tell Rudra that his father the chief was going to announce his engagement today itself, and that too to.... Sambhava!!! of all women! Sambhava! What was the chief thinking? What had he seen in her? On top of that he was ordered him to not tell Rudra that he was taking his Gaura away, to Mahadev knows where. This was too much for any man to bare.
He looked around, checking his surroundings. He had taken a different route this time, well not the one they took when they had carts. This was a longer winding route. He just hoped that Gauri that wouldn't wonder why. Well! Mahadev I pray it pays off. Here unfortunately there was no deep cave. He looked around and then getting off his horse, he removed his sword and made his way to an old wizened tree. Parting the twines hanging from its old heavy branches, he turned and faced Gaura.
"I will be back, take care of Hira." As abruptly as he had stopped he was gone. Disappearing in to the wild.
Gaura sat there, her face as blank as she could keep. She was exhausted, drained from the war she was constantly fighting in her mind. One part of her mind kept telling her to go back. Stay in the safety of Rudra's arms. The other part kept reminding her of her duty to her mother. Her mother had no one, to take care of her. Her maternal grandfather had wed her mother to the king her father forging an alliance he would make with the small neighboring state, which on her grandfather's death had eventually come to her father. He her father never respected or loved her mother. And what little feeling he might have had for her mother were gone when her mother gave birth to her, a girl. The nail was driven deep when she could give birth to no more children an insult indeed to the great king.
Her mother and she had always looked out for each other. And now her mother was in danger, and she Gaura could hardly sit here doing nothing. She was all her mother had. She would get her mother out of the hands of that shaitan! That devil. And for that if she had to forsake all else....even Rudra then so be it. She would! Even if it killed her.
And it was killing her leaving Rudra and going away. But the pain would stay inside her, deep, deep inside her heart. It would make her feel that she was still alive, because she was dead otherwise without Rudra.
She turned at the sound of movement. It was coming from the same direction in which Ballu had gone. Sure enough Ballu came out a few minutes later.
"All is good. We can go in. It is safe. I have checked." She nodded in acknowledgment.
Coming over to his horse he picked the reins and led the horse through the thicket.
"Come." He said.
It was darker here with the cover of the trees surrounding them. But they nudged through the thicket for a few minutes. Then she heard the sound of water running, and sure enough they had barely taken a couple of steps more and lo!!behold!! there, in front of their eyes was a mesmerising sight. There was a beautiful white waterfall about fifteen feet high and spread over about fifty feet of uneven cliff edge. It fell in veins creating small islands in between the streaming land.
"Come." He said again as he led his horse in to the shallow water pool. They slowly crossed over to the largest island.
"The water will keep us safe from the predators of the jungle and we can rest peacefully tonight."
She simply nodded, she knew he was trying to make her talk but she just couldn't speak. She wasn't sure she would be able to yet. Getting off her horse, she quickly removed the rein and the saddle of her horse.
"We need firewood, I will get some can you set the bedding and unpack the food?"
She simply nodded in affirmation. He looked at her, seeing her closed up face, he simply sighed deeply and then turning away. Nodding his head, he walked towards the east side.
Some time later, a crackling fire was warming them as they sat and ate the food that baba had packed for Gaura.
"If you don't mind I need to sleep." She quickly finished off the small portion of food she had taken on a leaf. Folding the leaf, she put it away. Then rolling out the blankets she lay down and closed off her eyes.
Ballu kept looking at her, she had been like this since they had left Kundalgad. Remorseful, quiet, not uttering a single word. Why was she leaving if she loved Rudra so much. The Chief had just told him that he had to escort Gaura to Paliyana. Why? All of a sudden! He had not let him tell Rudra even! On top of that Gaura wouldn't talk to him. She hadn't told him anything either. Not a thing! Well! He could wait, maybe right now was not the right time.  And the worst was that Rudra did not know what his father was planning for him! Sambhava! That wicked woman! Chhhhh! And his father was planning to hitch Rudra to her. Mahadev! Please don't let this disaster happen. Rudra's and Gaura's life will be ruined forever. Turning towards the fire he fed some more kindle to the robust fire, then he too pulled out his blanket from his backpack and pulling it over himself and he too closed his eyes.