ErrorMare [] Oneshots

ErrorMare || Past

Since you're gone, Everything in my life becomes chaotic.

[] Nightmare []

I sigh softly as I stare at the phone screen in front of him. It's been one month since I blocked her from my life. I tried my best to stay smiling and happy because I finally let her go. I always thinking about my decision whether this is the right choice or not. This is bad, But I need to let go, yet at the same time I want her back.

"Error..." I mumble and look through my phone. I go to social media and look at her profile that had changed. Before it's a picture of me and her, Now she's with someone else. She is smiling. I doubt I ever make her smile when I' 'm with her. Maybe I do, But I hurt her and she hurt me back. I think this is my punishment for being so reckless and stupid.

I scroll down through our old chats, Smiling softly as I remember every night at 7 P.M we will start talking to each other. Either from chat or voice chat. We always say love you to each other and saying how we miss each other. I miss those old time... Sometimes we lay games together even if our distance is far. We usually play PUBG for fun.

I look to the chat as tears start falling from my eyes. Oh, how I regret breaking ou relationship. In the chat, I ever said 'Hey do you realize that U and I are in the keyboard?'

Then she would reply, 'Aww you are so sweet...'

After that I played along, 'Do you also realize that JK is under them?'

She was mad at that time and start yelling at me, 'BAKA!!'

I laugh softly as more tears fall from my eyes. I miss these moments. Without her, I'm a disaster. The moment she goes away from my life, Everything starts crumbling down. I look at her post which is all of the presents that I gave her a few months ago with the caption: "I'm busy rn, I'm burning some thrashes here." And the next post is all of the stuff that I gave her are burnt down with flames.

Should I cry?

Should I be mad?

Should I be happy?

That she moved on so fast...

I sigh and bury my face into the pillow, I just wish I could die. I never thought I will be the one who cries for her. I was the one who breaks our relationship but I'm the one who cries. I'm desperate now, I want more of her. I want to see her, smell her scent, hear her beautiful voice, touch her delicate face and hug her as tight as I could.

Gosh... Why am I wanting her so bad?

Is it regret?

It can't be regret because I break our relationship because of her faults. She is the one who keeps yelling at me, bossing me, telling me to shut up and putting all faults on my shoulders.

When I tried to apologize to her, She would always say why can't I apologize faster?

When I tried to understand her, She will always say I will never want to understand.

When I told her to go sleep because it's late, She always says that I wanted her to leave.

When I was unable to chat her for the whole day, She would say that I'm cheating on her.

When I was chatting with her but she didn't reply, I would leave her be and when she's back, She will ask me why I didn't miss her and didn't call her.

Now I realize the difference between me and her. I always free my time to talk to her while she talks to me in her free time. I also learn that I don't need to get attached to her to get her attention. Because no matter how, No matter what I do for her, No matter how long I'm with her, I will always be her second choice...

Everything starts falling when I realize that she has someone. When I look at her phone and check her chat history, I look she's talking sweetheart, love, baby, honey, darling to someone who isn't me. Ink Comyet, She's talking to a guy named Ink Comyet. She's talking to Ink Comyet when she says she's busy with her work. She's giving her full love to Ink Comyet while she just calls me by my name. She doesn't even call me more than my nickname.

She spends her time with him all day when she says she's with her friends right now. Now people start questioning me why do I have trust issue. She breaks my walls and makes me trust her to be used as a company friend and entertaining her. I read that clearly on her chat with her so-called boyfriend. I start falling down deeper into the hole. I can't bring myself to trust anyone anymore. This betrayal had backstabbed me so deep till it breaks my soul.

When she's down and depressed, I'll always be there to help her but when I'm in that situation, She pulls me up and throw me in even deeper. It's like when we argue, Me yelling why she's doing this to me... Why she must hurt me this way and she replies that I'm just a burden, pest, her toy and only property that can be replaced. That day I broke our relationship, She doesn't even regret it...

I don't know anymore...

I feel relieved but sad at the same time... I don't know why...

You said you would never leave me but you lied...
I said I wouldn't miss you but I lied...

"Moving On?"
Sounds EASY but I died a thousand times in pain just to appreciate this phrase.

Why... Why are my feelings so complicated...

"I realize that I just miss the memories instead of the person."

A/N : You can kill the person that makes me sad xD But I'm sure you don't know who. And this person has so many accounts.