Five

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~Kaitlin Winchester~
 
I sit next to Lily, eagerly waiting for Austin to walk through those hospital doors. Lily was anxiously tapping her foot to the ground, making me grow more anxious myself. I started to bite on my nails, which is something I rarely do. I had to do something to keep myself from going insane.
 
This would be the first time of me seeing him in a year. It has almost been two years, but I just stopped counting and gave up. I never thought he’d be coming back into my life and here we are.
 
Lily taps faster, making my head spin in annoyance. “Stop Lily, calm down,” I let out in annoyance yet my tone is caring. I expect her to not hear me, but instead she looks around confused. No way… She heard me? How?
 
“Lily! It’s me! Kaitlin!” I say to her, but she doesn’t react. How can she not hear me now? She just could a moment ago. Why would this have to happen to me? I wanna just tell her I’m still here somewhat. If I pass I’ll continue to be there for her. I would watch over her. I would watch over Austin. I would watch over everyone who cared for me and everyone I cared for.
 
I slump back down in my chair, sighing in sadness. Lily had shrugged off the whole experience, thinking she was hallucinating. She isn’t though. She heard me loud and clear. I don’t know how, but she did.
 
I hear Lily let out a cold laugh and soon she lets out, “I don’t get why God has to take away or injury the angels in the world. It’s actually sick. It’s always the people who don’t deserve it that get hurt. I know for a fact Kaitlin didn’t deserve any of this shit.”
 
Lily has never been one to use a harsh tone or even to talk to herself. But here I am and here she is, babbling away. I can’t stop her either, telling her how crazy she sounds at the way she’s talking to herself. Plus, the things she says… were they really true? Before I can listen to more I hear the hospital doors slam open.
 
My eyes avert over and land on him. He’s here. He came…
 
Lily and I stand up as his stocky figure trudges over. He immediately pulls Lily into a tight hug and instead of Lily crying, he does. Austin just stands there, holding Lily in his arms tightly and crying his eyes out. His mom was right behind him, going to my grandparents, not daring to let her tears fall. Austin let his fall though, showing his pain.
 
I caused this pain and I wanted to reach out and fix it, but I couldn’t.
 
My eyes trail over Austin’s body. His hair looks messy as if he’s been running his hands through it constantly which is something he does when he’s nervous or anxious. It looks like he’s been tugging at it hardly too, which pains me more. I caused this. But if this didn’t happen he sure as hell wouldn’t be here. He would be on his tour, smiling through his pain of missing me.
 
Austin missed me. He always was missing me. I should’ve just gone to him. I should’ve gone to him first, but I was scared. He seems so happy with her. By her, I mean Camila. I saw the way they looked at each other. I could see the lust for her in his beautiful hazel eyes. I know he wants her. I know he cares for her. I just assumed he stopped caring for me…
 
I’m glad to know I was wrong.
 
I find myself, placing my hand onto his arm. Austin lifts his head up at the interaction and I just simply whisper, “Boy, did I miss you Mahone.” Austin immediately furrows his eyebrows, making me realize he heard me. I decide to continue seeing if he can continue to hear my tiny voice in his head,
 
“If I don’t come back just know, I love you.”
 
Austin immediately pulls from Lily and just loses it, “I need to see her! God damnit!” He bolts into a fast run down the halls, trying to find my room. My feet have a mind of their own because I found myself following him,
 
“Room 174, Austin!”
 
Austin starts to look at the numbers. How is he hearing me? How of all people does he hear me? How is this happening? What do I say next?
 
“I’m scared, Austin! As soon as you come back I’m going to die…” I let out, continuing to follow behind him. I had to take this time to my advantage and continue to keep trying. I had to keep speaking to him. I had to hold onto the time I had.
 
“No, Kaitlin, you’re strong. You still have me… I promise,” he lets out, talking to himself. He must look crazy, but he doesn’t seem to care. He tracks down my room so quickly before bursting in and seeing my body lay on the bed. Austin freezes immediately at the sight, taking in my cut up and fragile body. This is the first time I’m seeing myself as well.
 
My lip is cut, along with the top of my head. The blood was dried up by now, and they hadn’t cleaned it much. My arm is hung up since it was broken badly, making me wince at the thought of the pain. In all honesty I looked horrible and I was embarrassed to look like that in front of Austin.
 
He sits in the chair next to me, sliding his hand into mine. I can immediately feel it too, making me glance down at my hand in surprise. It leaves a tingling sensation on my fingers, and it makes me smile. I missed this feeling in all honesty.
 
“I’m here, Kaitlin. Don’t be scared. I’m not leaving until you wake up and when you wake up I’ll be by your side once again. Why did this have to even happen? This is all my fault. If I was still here and talking to you, maybe this wouldn’t have happened…” Austin says, blaming myself. I shake my head at his comment though,
 
“No Austin…”
 
He doesn’t hear me though. I had lost the connection. He was gone. He couldn’t hear me anymore. I can’t believe he even did hear me at all. Those are the first words I’ve spoken to him in a year. It’s crazy. I can’t believe we haven’t spoken in a year or two. It feels like ten years honestly, but it isn’t.
 
Austin stares down at me, before leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. Once again I feel it, and soon tears spring at my eyes. I try to stop them, but they just trail down as I look at the sight. Austin and I.
 
He looks at me as if looking at her. I don’t know why he’s looking at me like that while I’m in the state I’m in. I just look so broken. So ugly. Why is Austin giving me that stare look of love? Austin couldn’t love me.
 
He probably just missed me.
 
Right?

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