memories ﻬ am

Twenty-Nine

Kaitlin Winchester

I broke up with him through a letter. I couldn’t even face him like I hoped to do. I just wrote him a simple letter talking about how it wasn’t him and it was me. And how our timing was wrong. And how I couldn’t handle his famous life style. And I used all that bullshit people say to get out of a relationship they weren’t ready for.

I was home in San Antonio, Texas, and it was also the new year. Alex showed me Austin changed his look because without me he seemed to forget who he was. I just think without me he started to realize who he was. I just knew this was meant to be and that was meant to be going out to dinner with Hailee Steinfeld and not me. I could tell he was spending more and more time with her up in Miami, and I tried to deny the fact it killed me.

But I was living on my own at the moment. Well, actually that’s a lie. I was living with Mrs. Mahone who left Miami to come down here so I’d have a place to stay. It was nice too because I didn’t feel so alone you know? I spent most of my time down here being home schooled. I wanted to go back to school but with all the press on my case that was impossible. Neither Austin and I have confirmed the end of our relationship. I’m glad to, but I knew it’d be happening soon. I wasn’t ready for the hate either.

@KaitlinWinchester: I think about you every day and I need to stop

Austin has been texting me, just checking up on me, but me being a complete bitch ignores him. I just couldn’t believe he was being so nice to me after the break up and all the times I haven’t been texting back. He just kept trying which made me keep falling more and more in love with him. It made me sick to my stomach at how loyal he was and I wasn’t in return.

I could always type up a message, but then delete it knowing he deserved better then me. He could move on to Hailee. She was more his league, and I wasn’t up to his standards. It made me feel like shit. I just laid in my bed not moving only to eat, sleep, poop, pee, and shower. That’s about it.

Without Austin I couldn’t function properly.

To: Kaitlin Winchester

From: Ameezy

Baby, just answer me please. I love you and you love me.

My stomach ached as I read a few more of his heartfelt messages.

Kaitlin, I can’t be without you

I crave your touch and I just miss you

Take me back, I messed up bad

I know you can handle my life, Kaitlin. You’re the only one who really understands it.

I got lucky with Austin. But it was just wrong timing. He had so much of his life ahead of him that I didn’t fit into it. I just kept reminding myself I wasn’t good enough until it didn’t hurt as much. It still hurt like a bitch, but it kept me away from him.

I would find myself stalking him, and looking at pictures of us. I was stupid for letting him go and I know that. I honestly wanted to apologize and take him back, but I just knew I shouldn’t.

Today Austin didn’t text me, showing me he had finally moved on. He probably accepted the fact I wasn’t going to call him or text him. He went on with his life while I just rotted away in his house.. Michele was supportive of my decision even though she didn’t agree. She wanted me to be happy with my decision and I lied telling her I was when all I wanted was him.

Time went by and it was about 1 am and I still couldn’t sleep. My eyelids kept shutting only to see Austin’s face. I just had to do something about this. I had to call him because for god sakes I needed him. The one day he doesn’t want me and I just crave him the most I ever have. I dialed his number so quick yet I got sent to voicemail.

My time was done and I had lost my chance.

These thoughts made me bolt up to get a cup of tea to help me sleep. I scrambled down tiredly, trying to not run into anything. I made sure to go slow down the stairs, and into the kitchen. Yet I still ran into something.

Well someone.

I jumped back, turning on the light so quick. In front of me stood a short haired brown boy with shiny metal in his nose. And my heart swooned at how fucking hot he looked. It is then I realized who this was. My eyes went wide at the figure as did his.

“Kaitlin? How long have you been here?” Austin chokes out as he stares down at me. He looks so in awe at my depressed figure draped in a long t-shirt dress. I could feel my insides twist just at the sight of him. I felt embarrassed too because I couldn’t pull off the red, crying eyes like he could. He had been crying it was obvious and so had I.

“Since I left,” I whisper.

“I didn’t know… my mom invited me to stay here yesterday and I immediately flew down, wanting to escape my mind of you but here you are!” He says, and the aweness hasn’t left his voice.

Just the sound of his raspy voice made me wet. Being without him made me so needy I don’t know what came over me. I attacked him, wrapping my arms around his neck and attacking my lips to his. He kissed back with so much forced that both of us made our way up to his room to pleasure each other just like we’ve always wanted to.