memories ﻬ am

Twenty-Six

Kaitlin Winchester

I sit on the stuff bear, strumming away at the ukulele Marina had bought me. I already learned one of Austin’s songs on it and I did a cover of All I Ever Need, which I posted. A lot of people thought I sang really well, asking why I wasn’t signed yet, but I don’t think I’m good. Austin always likes when I sing to him, so I did it a lot and he even would help me get better. 

I probably owe this talent to Austin. I would definitely sing this or show him the cover when I was allowed to see him. The surgery went well, but they were just doing some final things and wanted him to sleep for a bit longer before letting people into the room. 

I had posted updates on everyone and everything. Michele did a bit too. She kept checking on me too, and I told her I was fine. And I was. I stayed cuddled up to this bear, and even slept on it. I could just imagine Austin here with me.

Alex seemed worried too, but Lily kept him distracted doing who knows what. I just liked how Lily and Alex were acting more like a couple. She finally told me that they were a thing, but still he hasn’t asked. I told her he would soon, and I know he will. I know Alex wants to get serious with her. I hoped they would too. I’m pretty sure Austin and me are rooting for them.

“Uh Kaitlin,” I hear Lily’s voice croak. I have to lift my head to look at her. She seems really nervous about this too, making me avert my full attention to her.

“Have you and Austin ever like had sex?” She asks, and I swear I almost choked on my saliva. I had to even look at her a little strange because I don’t know why she is asking.

“No, why?”

“Well, Alex and I... already have. Do you think it was too soon? Just in Disneyland we had a really good time, and drank a bit. And I don’t regret it, and I really like him Kate. I think I love him,” she says. For some reason I just smile at her.

“It’s not too soon. It’s different for everyone,” I say to her, and she smiles back at me and nods. I know that was Lily’s first time, maybe not Alex’s but still it was special to her. I’m sure it was to Alex too.

Before we can continue our conversation a doctor came and told us we could go into Austin’s room. I jumped up real quick because I was real excited to see him. Even if he was still asleep, just looking at him will make me the happiest girl alive. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.

All of us head into his room, but stay real quiet. Michele was already in there, holding Austin’s hand. The one I held before his surgery. I have to smile at the sight of him.

I even took a picture, posting it on twitter saying: @KaitlinWinchester: baby is still sleeping

I soon sit in the bed across from him. Michele offered me to sleep there but I declined. I told her I’d sleep in the chair outside. She suggested again, but I declined once more. Alex slept in the chair next to Austin, Michele in the bed, and I on the chair outside. I didn’t mind though. I was more of a giving person and I knew Michele needed her sleep and so did Alex. His best friend and his mom in his room was all Austin needed. 

@KaitlinWinchester: I’ve been given so much I just learned to be more giving and understanding

So I fell asleep on the chair outside of his room.

~~~

“He’s awake,” I hear Michele’s voice say, waking me up from my dreamless sleep. I give Michele a sleepish smile before getting up to see Austin laying in the bed. He’s wearing the hospital gown, making me realize he is probably only in boxers underneath, but still I smile cause he still looks really attractive.

He looks over at me and grins so big. He can’t speak though, so I just make my way over to him. Michele and Alex had given us some privacy closing the door behind us. The room was pretty dark at the moment and the only light making me able to see his face was from the lamp. I still smile at him though, thinking he looks handsome even in this light. 

I start to slide off his beanie but some how Austin croaks out, “No.” It’s groggy and I could tell it hurt him a lot. So I just nod, going over to him as he is lying on the bed. And then I flip one leg over him, straddling him. He places his hands on my waist, looking up at me. I just run my hands through his hair, smiling down at him.

“You’re alive!” I say to him, and he tries not to chuckle.

“Sorry I’ll try not to crack some of my hilarious jokes around you. I know how funny I am,” I joke, and he simply rolls his eyes playfully up at me. He then gestures over to the bed in the room where I was letting Michele sleep in. He was basically telling me I could sleep there.

“No, Austin. I let your mom sleep there, and I let Alex sleep in the chair next to you. I felt like they had more of a right to anyways. It’s okay,” I say to him, playing with his curls. He smiles up at me, showing off his amazing white teeth. 

He pulls out his phone, and I notice him typing away. When he looks back up he shows me his newest tweet:

@AustinMahone: My girlfriend gave up the bed and chair in my room for Alex and my mom. Glad to have her in my life.

I have to smile a bit more, and soon I continue. I decide to tell him about Alex and Lily. “Did you hear Alex and Lily slept together?” I ask him, and he nods. I have to raise an eyebrow at the fact he didn’t tell me. He just types away in his notes showing me: ‘Just found out’

I nod and continue, “We... haven’t even... yeah.”

He types away once again and shows me: ‘Because I’m willing to wait for you. We could have by now but is our relationship based on just sex? No. I see you as so much more then some toy to play with.’

I have to smile a bit down at it before looking back at Austin. I mouth ‘I love you’ to him, and he smiles at me before doing the same.