promise // matthew espinosa

Chapter 21

~ Matt

When I walked in, I almost broke down right there in the doorway. There were tubes sticking out of her stomach, she had a cup over her mouth and nose to keep her breathing, there were bags under her eyes, and her wrists were hidden with bloody bandages. She was wide awake, laying down in the bed.

"Hey Brianna."

She carefully lifted her arm and waved. I understand why. She probably can't talk after all the screaming and the tubes. Cameron and I waved back. I approached her bed and kneeled next to her, then reached for her hand and gently grasped it in mine.

"I'm so sorry this had to happen. I love you so much."

She nodded, returning the gesture. I kissed her hand lightly and let it go. I waved goodbye before leaving the room. I really didn't want to leave, but I knew I had to.

~ Brianna

Each of the guys came in to visit me. I couldn't speak, so I let them talk.

"We all love you so much, Brianna."

"I know you're in a lot of pain."

"So, I'm gonna make this quick."

"Is it okay if I take your hand?"

I would nod slightly.

"I know it can be hard."

"But you are an amazing girl."

"We couldn't make it without you."

"We love you with all of our hearts."

"You're part of our family now."

"Never forget it."

They all pretty much said the same thing. It meant a lot though. It made me feel so much better. I loved them all, even before they knew me. Now they love me too. I looked around the now empty room. I held my arms up and examined my wrists. The bandages were bloody, although the doctor changed them an hour ago. The heart rate monitor beside me was constantly beeping. I couldn't hold my arms up for long, considering I was extremely weak. I watched the tubes pumping things in and out of my stomach. It was very painful and never seemed to stop, but I tried my best to ignore it. My eyes were drooping. I could hardly stay awake. It wasn't long before I let sleep take over.

~ Shawn

Matt told us what the doctor had said. I almost felt guilty. He said Brianna hadn't been eating. I remember when we finished the YouNow. The hate she was getting was directed towards her being fat, which she isn't. When she took the smaller slice of pizza was probably the start of this. I didn't even notice.

~