Chapter 18: Kinky Killian

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A/N: 27.04.19

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I watched wide-eyed as Jenna started mixing a bunch of drinks into a bright red cup before handing it to me. I looked at the murky color and tried not to scowl at the smell, putting on a polite smile.

"I um, I don't drink," I murmured.

She rolled her eyes.

"Of course you do," she said.

"I really don't," I pressed, remembering what my parents told me ever since I was a kid. "Alcohol kills brain cells."

But Jenna didn't seem to really care, just like everyone else in this house who were already half-wasted.

"And global warming is killing the planet," she chuckled darkly. "Carter, it's in the human system to be self-destructive, we're the only species on the planet that are. Now live up to our uniqueness and drink up."

"But Killian told me not to drink," I quickly said, running out of excuses.

She raised a brow, rolling her shoulder back and giving me the same look Eshe gave me when she scolded me.

"And you're going to listen to the guy who listens to no one else but himself?" She pointed out.

I pursed my lips, hesitant at first but the way she kept staring at me made me feel uncomfortable. Besides, it seemed like no matter what I said, she wouldn't take "no" as an answer, so I held my breath and took a small sip.

My eyes widened at how bitter and awful it tasted, but Jenna was standing in front of the sink so I couldn't spit it out. I forced myself to swallow, feeling the liquid burn down my throat and sizzle inside my chest, making me cough at the horrible after taste. I bit my tongue, trying not to hurl.

"Tastes like life, doesn't it?" she grinned widely, taking the cup out of my hands and drinking some herself. I watched as she effortlessly gulped it down before pouring in some more, the stench of vodka already making me feel nauseous. "So tell me, how long have you been sleeping with Killian?"

I cleared my aching throat.

"We um, we're not sleeping together," I answered in a raspy voice. Jenna raised her brows.

"Then what are you two doing together?" She asked slowly.

"We just hang out sometimes," I murmured which made her laugh. I didn't really want to explain the whole bet that Killian and I made since it was too long of a story to tell and because my brain was already spinning from the single sip that I took.

"No, no, you don't understand," she chuckled, wiping away a tear before starting to speak in a serious voice.

"Killian doesn't just "hang out", he only fucks. Well, unless you're a ride-or-die friend like Francisco or Luke of course," she grumbled bitterly. "So you're either a fuck buddy or just a waste of time, there's no inbetween."

It didn't seem like Killian and I were friends since we didn't really share secrets or fully trusted each other, nor did we really meet up just to "hang out." It was either because one of us needed something or simply because of given a dare, which slowly made me realise that the only thing that kept our relationship existant was our bet.

"We're helping each other," was all I said, forcing a small smile. The heavy feeling in my chest came back so I quickly took the cup of alcohol and took a big gulp, replacing the pain with the disgusting taste of what Jenna presumed to be "life". "He's trying to become a better person and I'm trying to find out who I really am."

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