Tell Me I'm an Angel (Frerard)

Entry Six: He actually came for me...

*trigger warning*

Entry Six: He actually came for me...

Three months have flown by since my impromptu meeting with Frank outside of the coffee shop, and it was the happiest I have ever been as a demon.

Frank would randomly appear about once a week, usually after I had completed an assignment. We would go get something to eat, or just sit and talk about trivial things until he had to leave again.

I treasured every second I spent with him, and the memories of our time together kept me strong in the following days when I had to do without his gorgeous face and calm words.

At first, I had been terrified that someone would catch us together, but I became more lax with my worries as we continued to escape detection; excitement chased out any harboring fears for the time being, and I would risk anything to see him.

When I was with Frank, everything faded away, I could forget all the horrors I was going through, and just focus on the way he made me feel. I actually couldn't quite pinpoint the exact emotions I felt toward Frank, but I was pretty sure I had a crush on him - that was for sure.

It had been an unusually long time since he had last made an appearance though, bordering on two weeks now if I was keeping track of the days correctly, and I chafed to see him. I wasn't worried per se; Frank had warned me that he had to be careful so the other angels in Heaven didn't get suspicious, but a small part of my mind couldn't shake that feeling that something might be wrong.

When Lucifer's elite demon delivered my next assignment, I didn't feel the usual overwhelming sense of dread that accompanied such missives; instead, I filled myself with thoughts of my angel. I would call for him today after I completed my grisly task, and then all my fears would be put to rest.

Bob noticed my joyous mood, and even though he was my friend, I kept the existence of Frank to myself. I didn't think Bob would expose me to Lucifer, but with Frank at risk, I wasn't willing to take the chance. So instead, I passed it off as if I was finally adjusting after so long, and he bought it hook, line, and sinker.

I arrived at my destination and quickly surveyed where I had landed. It was the room of a boy about my age, he had lanky blonde hair that could use a wash and desolate yellow-green eyes. I could tell just by looking at him that he was one step from the edge and - as usual - I was the one who would shove him over that point.

Making myself invisible, I lowered into a sitting position in the corner of his room and waited silently.

As I had guessed, it didn't take long. He tried to sleep, but finally gave up the futile effort and headed into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. As I watched, he pulled out a thin razor and began dragging it across his arm as tears poured down his face.

Once he had finished the gruesome task, he returned to the room and began digging through a backpack until he emerged clutching a pen and a crumpled piece of paper. With shaking hands, he attempted to smooth it out as he scribbled a note and left it lying on the unmade bed.

When he returned to the bathroom, I got up carefully and snuck over to read the words he had decided to leave behind, the page stained with drops of his blood.

Brother mine...

I know you will never be able to understand why I did this, but please believe me when I say that my one regret is leaving you. I love you with all my heart, and I would have never made it this long without you, but I am giving up. I am weak, and sullied, and useless. I can't continue on like this, and death is my only escape. I am going to a better place now.

Please forgive me.

I began to shake uncontrollably as his words penetrated my soul, bringing back memories of my own demise. I had left a similar note to my brother Mikey...I had truly believed I was going somewhere I could be happy.

A crash from the bathroom snapped me back to the present, the boy had finished what he started and made too large vertical cuts up both of his wrists. Now he was lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood. I could feel his soul's tenuous connection to his body wavering, and I knew it wouldn't be long now.

As I prepared to leave, the door to his room slammed open, and a younger boy with light tousled hair and panic filled eyes ran inside.

"Edward! Are you in here? I heard something fall - are you okay?"

I didn't want to witness this, but my feet were glued to the ground, and I couldn't tear my gaze away. Finally, the boy caught sight of his brother's prone form, and the broken sob he let out was a dagger to my heart.

"Edward!" He collapsed at his side, and I wrenched myself away, unable to watch anymore.

Uncaring if anyone saw me or not, I threw open the closest window and tore out of there as fast as my wings could carry me. Overcome with emotion, I collapsed in the middle of an abandoned park, sobbing so hard I thought I was going to tear in two.

"Frank!" I let out an agonizing scream inside my head, hoping he would hear me. I didn't visualize my location because I had no idea where I had landed, and I didn't have the strength to lift my head and find out.

He probably wasn't coming anyway...no one would want to be around me while I was in such a dismal state. That scene was just too similar to my own death...I had tried to keep these thoughts locked away, but now they were flooding my mind one after the other.

I couldn't believe how selfish I had been, all this time I had been bemoaning my own fate and hating myself, but I deserved all of this for what I had done. I hadn't even truly considered how badly I had hurt my own brother...oh Mikey...

Did he find my body like Edward's brother had? How often had he begged for me to hang on, to stay for him, if for no other reason, and like the selfish bastard I am, I had left him all alone...

It had never even once crossed my mind to check up on him and see how he was doing. I knew he struggled with his own problems similar to mine, he was just so much stronger than I was, that I assumed he would be all right, but after I had left him in such a tragic manner, would he still be able to resist his old addictions?

I curled in on myself, trying to hold together the pieces of my broken heart. I had been so enrapture with thoughts of Frank, I had forgotten about my own brother!

Suddenly, I was lifted off of the cold ground and cradled in a pair of warm arms. I sobbed even harder when I recognized the familiar scent that I had begun to associate with Frank. He said nothing, only held me close and stroked my red hair gently.

A sudden gust of wind blew through the park, and when I looked up, I saw that Frank had released his wings. He tucked them around us until we were enveloped in a sea of white feathers that smelled of rain. Safe in his embrace, my internal agony slowly ebbed as I buried my fingers in his downy feathers and wept until I had no more tears left in me.

Aww poor Gee is so sad...but Frankie finally hugged him! I know this one was kind of short, but I thought it was a good place to end it.

And I actually updated twice in less than 24hrs, and I have already started the next chapter, so you guys might even get another update later tonight...well maybe tomorrow, since I have to be at work super early in the morning :)

<3 star