Tell Me I'm an Angel (Frerard)

Entry Seventeen: The friction in my jeans

Just warning you all, there is some smut in this chapter, and apparently Wattpad says you have to be following me to read it, soo ya... ;) I will put *** around it, so if you aren't as dirty minded as me, you can skip it.

Entry Seventeen: The friction in my jeans

It seemed like I had barely closed my eyes before I was being shaken awake by Frank. I groaned in protest and tried to bury my face in the pillow, but the little bastard began to tickle me relentlessly.

Usually, I would have loved this attention from him, but I was still in a foul mood, and I shoved him off a little rougher than I intended. He hit the floor hard, and even though he tried to cover it up, I saw the look of fear and pain his eyes.

"Frank - I'm sorry..." I tried to apologize, but he simply turned his back on me.

"It's fine," he said, but I could tell by his tone that he didn't mean it.

With a heavy sigh, I began to pack up my things, and Frank did the same. The silence that filled the cave was smothering me, but I didn't break it, and neither did Frank.

Once I was ready to leave, I woke up Mikey and made him eat some bread, even though he insisted that he wasn't hungry. I refused to budge until he ate, and eventually he gave in begrudgingly. Frank had disappeared, and I hadn't asked where he was going.

I didn't know why I was acting like such an asshole, but I just wanted to be left alone until I figured out what was wrong with my fucked up head. A few minutes later, I heard the sound of wing beats, and Frank reentered the small cave.

"The coast is clear. If we leave now, we should get to the lodge before nightfall." He didn't look at me as he spoke, and my heart twisted painfully. Mikey shot me a questioning look, but I pointedly ignored it. I had really fucked up this time...

I shouldered my bag, and Mikey's as well, before unleashing my wings which looked crippled and hideous next to Frank's majestic set. He launched himself off the ground, and I followed in his wake, making sure to keep an eye on Mikey. He seemed better today, but I wasn't letting him out of my sight after yesterday's scare.

As I flew, I found myself admiring the scenery, which was something I hadn't done in ages. The sun was just beginning to crest over the mountains, causing the snow to glisten and shine underneath us. The effect was mesmerizing, and I wished I could just sit and enjoy it, instead of having to flee to another supposedly safe haven. I was just so tired of running...of being afraid...of having no place to call home.

But I had so much to be grateful for. Mikey and I were alive and free from Lucifer's clutches, and I was in love with the perfect man...so why was I so unhappy? It wasn't just Brendon's visit that had me so shook up, and I knew it.

Now that I had time to think about it, I realized my irrational jealousy of Brendon had been completely misplaced. I should have been over the moon that this complete stranger was willing to help out my brother and I without expecting anything in return. Plus, he was taken, and I couldn't go around seething at every angel that happened to be friends with Frank.

My mind always seemed to do this to me, whenever I had found some form of happiness, it would plague me with what ifs and worst case scenarios until I ended up ruining everything. Back when I had been alive, I had pushed almost everyone away because of my inability to just enjoy someone else's company. I always wondered what they wanted from me, or when they were going to leave me, and it would end up eliminating any chance I ever had at a healthy relationship.

It didn't help that my thoughts were usually right. All my life, people had seemed to tolerate me to get what they wanted. It started out small, a classmate would pretend to be my friend just to get help on their homework, and then once the class was over, they would never speak to me again. Numerous girls tried to suck up to me in hopes that it would get Mikey to notice them.