Summer Lovin' ✩ Hardzello

0.5 | A Teenager In Love

I sat down on a chair that was sitting in front of the window.

I never saw it when I'd look at him out my window so I guess it's new.

I let the sun beat down onto my face and closed my eyes.

I started thinking again, about Ben of course.

I didn't know why I found him so attractive, I've never even thought of a girl like this.

I felt like it was wrong and I didn't want to think it was wrong but I was told that my whole life.

Was it really wrong though?

Yes, it is Joseph.

Stop fantasizing about him like that it's disgusting.

I was getting really fed up with the two sides of my brain constantly fighting over what's okay and what's not.

I wanted to love him but my brain told me no every time I would think about him.

He's supposed to be a friend and nothing more than that.

I didn't want him to just be my friend and I didn't want to just be his friend.

I'd been thinking about this since the day I saw him sitting at the diner on the last day of school.

My grip tightened on the arms of the chair.

I was mad.

I was going to do something.

I needed to do something.

Don't you dare

You'll never forgive yourself.

He'll never forgive you.

"Shut up!" I accidentally said out loud.

"Excuse me?" He turned around to face me.

I bit my lip and turned back around.

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that"

He sighed and turned back around.

I started bouncing my leg up and down, my anxiety was through the roof.

My hands were sweaty and I could hardly breathe.