Static /// Colby Brock

Easily Breakable

Dear, Colby

Is this really how you want things to be,huh? Completely silent? No words whatsoever.

Unlike you, I can't write letters. I don't have the bravery to send them. I tried, believe me. I tried so many times and tore every single one of them. Not that it means much to you. If it did mean anything I wouldn't be here, writing you an e-mail. If it mattered even the slightest bit, you would say something, anything. Honestly, I would've felt better if you never picked up my calls at all. Oh, no, ha! You pick up, I hear your breathing. But you never speak, Between the silence, breathing and static, I feel let down. I really thought you'd be better than this. I gave you time, and let myself pay the price of staying silent for so long. I was the one crying, and fighting back the urge to call you. I was the one who didn't have it in her to burn or tear up your letters. However, I didn't have the heart to reply either.

There are certain things you don't know, Colby. That's why I don't deserve to be tortured like this. To ease your pain, I threw myself into a pit of fire. You have no idea. I sacrificed my happiness to ensure yours. If you fell for those fake Instagram smiles, then you maybe never knew me to begin with. And it's fucked up to think that you still have a piece of me, and I'm still holding a piece of you.

You keep coming back as a shadowing thought. Overcoming my brain every now and then. The memory of you keeps coming back, running around my head, leaving me restless. I thought you'd care at least a bit more than this. That you wouldn't give me fake hope. Damn you and the never-ending silent war you hold against me.

Good for you, you must be very proud of yourself. If you see everything we had as a regret so big, you're willing to step on it and put a wall between us so easily, then I don't have anything else to say to you. It's clear you've run out of words to say to me as well.

I know you well enough. I know this is a method of self-defense. I know you will never give up on us. So, I want you to know, I'm not giving up either.

If your stone-cold facade is reading this, I'm not sure if it will get the message. But if your heart is reading it, I'm expecting something other than silence the next time I call.

Yours forever, Sabrina