Static /// Colby Brock

The right choice?

Sabrina's POV

5 days. 5 fucking days. That's how long I went off the radar. I didn't leave my house. I didn't communicate with anyone. I barely ate and just drank. Drank anything and everything. I had emptied my dad's bar faster than he had filled it. I was aware I would have to restock it before him and mom returned. Otherwise, they would send me to rehab for my drinking problem. As usual, they would only see the outside of the problem, its manifestation on the outside. They never dug deeper to see what was really going on or what was causing it. 

~ Oh, you're drinking? Off to rehab you go! 

No "Why are you doing this?". No "What's wrong?". And definitely no "Talk to us, sweetheart." Sometimes, I really think it's better they didn't get into my life way too much, it taught me how independence worked. I don't know, I'm still on the rocks about the subject.

Back to my point. What I'm trying to say is, the downward spiral was no longer carrying me. It had eaten me alive the day Austin left. We still texted, of course. We decided to remain friends, after all. Looking at my relationship with him as friends, I see it was just what we needed and what we were meant to be.

While I was pretending everything was OK with me on the phone and with the text messages, I was slowly losing my mind. Vona was the only reason I even left my bed in the morning. Well, her and my constantly growing hunger and the need to use the bathroom. All the curtains were shut, so no light got in. I was more than sure that if I left the house, I would become as blind as a bat. I did the smart thing and stayed indoors, because who wants to go outside anyway.

I spent my time over-drinking and overthinking. A lot of back and forth. A lot of arguments with myself. A lot of tears because I was upset with myself, or the half of me which was desperately trying to get my ass on a plane for LA. I can't even recall the number of times I had to clean glass shards off the floor. Yeah, my anger wasn't something I could control while drunk. Still isn't. 

I was playing pros and cons with the idea of going to LA, it was driving me crazy. It was a great step forward that I wasn't sure I was willing to make. Not because of my pride or anything....OK, fine, yeah. Maybe it was at least a little because of my pride, but it was mostly fear. Fear of rejection. What if he no longer felt the same way? What if he gave up? OH MY GOD, what if he got back together with Phoebe? Now wouldn't that be the news to hear on the doorstep of my old home. I didn't deserve that humiliation. But I also didn't deserve to be in the  dark about his feeling. Then again, that means that he also doesn't deserve to be in the dark about mine.

Colby's POV

When I got back from Vegas, I felt like I could walk through walls. I felt like a ghost. The same feeling that had made my heart its home when Sabrina left in the first place. The guys didn't question it. Aaron, Jake and Corey chocked it up to partying too hard back in Vegas. Sam knew me too well and asked me nothing during the first week of my return. And Elton and I weren't on proper speaking terms just yet. It was peaceful on the outside, small talk and nice company, yet on the inside of my head there was a war-zone. I was mentally torturing myself every night before going to sleep by staring at the silver chain with a star hanging from it. I didn't get rid of it the way I told myself I would eventually. Yeah, I was too weak to do such a thing. I was really worried if someone found it and questioned me about it. I had no idea what I'd even say in such a scenario. 

As I said, Sam kept his silence only for the first week, afterwards, he didn't hold back. 

- I saw it - he said out of the blue one day while we were sitting alone in the living room.

- Saw what? - I asked, acting relaxed and nonchalant about the whole situation when I was panicking on the inside. 

- Many things, actually. - Sam put down his phone and turned to face me - Let's start with the silver necklace in your room that clearly doesn't belong to you.

I shrugged my shoulders - Now it does.

- You stole it?! - Sam nearly yelled

- No, of course not, you idiot! - I hissed, as quietly as I could considering how frustrated I was.

- Then, how do you explain what you just told me? - His eyes were searching my face for any visible answers. 

I remained silent, which only infuriated him even more. - Tell me, damn it! You bought it for Phoebe before she cheated on you and now you have no one to give it to?! Just tell me! It might not be a big deal, but you know how much I hate being in the dark about things!

- We slept together!! - I growled in a voice I didn't recognize as my own.

- Sabrina, right? You ran into Sabrina in Vegas of all places. And hold on, YOU SLEPT TOGETHER?! 

I had to cover his mouth, we might've been alone in the room, but not in the house. 

- Yes, we did. Now can you please take a breath and chill out - I released him, revealing the shocked expression on his face.

We sat in silence, staring off into the distance. The tension was pressing down on me so hard, it was keeping me from breathing properly.

- You regret it now, don't ya? - he asked me without even bothering to look at me, keeping his 1000 yard stare.

- I don't, she does, a lot - I ran my hand through my hair, sighing with the pent up frustration and dread I wasn't aware were still there. 

- Of course she does, she has a boyfriend, man. She probably hates herself because of it. - Sam finally looked at me with a spark of sympathy. I didn't appreciate the way he was looking at me, as if he was a parent disappointed by his child.

- Don't! Don't remind me. - I pointed at him as a warning, still avoiding eye contact.

- Doesn't matter weather you want to be reminded or not. Facts are facts, deal with it. By ignoring the obvious problem you're hurting both yourself and a person that means the world to you. It's time you stop ignoring and start facing and resolving. - With that final statement, Sam got up and left. I started noticing how often he did that when we would be talking about me and Sabrina.

I bet he's tired of me, as is everyone else. And I'm tired of this. "Resolving the problem", Sam says it as though it's the easiest thing. It could've been way easier, I'm aware. If only we were a little more understanding towards each other this issue would've ended a long damn time ago. Also, if we weren't hiding from each other on the opposite coasts of the US. One would even think we don't actually love each other.

Sabrina's POV

- Hello? - I heard Austin's worried voice from the other line.

- Aus? - I said as clearly as I could after a bottle of vodka

- Sabrina? - I didn't think it was possible, but his voice got even more worried - What's wrong?

- Can you come over, please?

- Why? What's going on? You're scaring me. - I heard some shuffling from the other line, he was probably already getting ready.

- Just come over and bring wine. I've made a crazy decision. - my voice was trembling

- Sab, seriously, I'm really worried. What decision are you talking about? 

- I'm so scared. Hurry and change my mind - I felt tears start poking my eyes - I'm going to LA.