Static /// Colby Brock

The you I know

Sabrina's POV

Sam and Elton caught up to me eventually, and I don't even remember what happened. The last thing I can recall of that entire ordeal is being back at the house, laying on my bed in my room. I can remember the one and only thought that was circling around my brain. Is that still the Colby I know? I was doubtful he was. I didn't know who to trust: him or my instincts. My brain or my heart. The obvious clues or my stubborn faith in him.

I couldn't decide, as per usual, being the indecisive person I am, so I chose to ignore the issue as long as possible so my mind could rest and take a breather. 

Elton tried talking to me on a few occasions, but my lack of responses and staring at the ceiling told him I wasn't in the mood for talking every time.

The lack of company, the overflow of silence and all the confused voices in my head made it impossible to fall asleep, yet even more impossible to get out of bed.

I did, eventually. I opened the window beside my bed and poked my head outside, filling my lung with the fresh afternoon air. The midday sum caressed my face, causing me to sigh.

I walked in my bathroom and took a quick shower and found a change of clothes because the ones I was wearing prior to the shower were sweaty and smelly since I had been wearing them for over eight hours.

Downstairs, the silence was deafening, just like it was in my room. The guys were all sat in the living room. I saw the dogs in the backyard and contemplated seeking comfort in their company but decided I needed real human interaction instead. 

- Oh, you're up - Elton said, seemingly with relief.

- Yeah - I plopped down on the couch beside Sam - Any news?

- No, not yet. We did talk to David, Jason and Dom and non of them were with Alex that night. In fact, non of the Vlog Squad was with him that night, so they can't confirm nor deny the attack happening - Elton sighed.

I did too. I felt ashamed that I immediately labeled Colby as guilty. But what else could I've done? All the clues indicate that he is guilty. The time frame of events - Elton said he went out for a walk not while after the girls and I went out for a girl's night. He didn't say exactly where he was going or who he was gonna be with. Shady, for certain. The rivalry - Sam confirmed the suspicion I had for quite sometime. Even the first time I was in LA, back at the very beginning of this roller coaster. Their competition to win me over. Everything was pointing in the wrong direction for Colby.

- You might wanna let him explain himself - Sam said sort of passive-aggressively

- Sam....- Elton gave him a warning glance

- No, Elton. Let me finish. - Sam sent him a glare with the same intensity - I want her to hear what I'm thinking, unlike you. I want her to understand why Colby didn't deserve what she did.

- Excuse me? What did I do? - I snapped my head in to face him after the longest period of avoiding his gaze

- Give up on him. That's what you did. He was down in the dumps and you just left him there. Not only, you pushed him down further. 

- How do you think I should've reacted when a weight of that sort was dropped on me with no warning whatsoever. And you can't tell me, Sam, that you didn't, even for a second, question his innocence. Cause we all did. You did, Elton did, heck, I did. But that doesn't mean I proclaim him guilty. Non of us do. - I was basically shooting lasers out of my eyes by the end of my statement.

- Still, you should've given him time to explain himself. Cause, you may or may not know, every time someone was hating on you, on the internet or in real life, for something pretty reasonable, Colby was always the one to protect you and take your side. You don't know that, do you? Of course you don't.

I wanted to reply, defend my actions and prove him wrong, but I couldn't. I couldn't stand up for myself when I too blamed myself for running off so suddenly and giving Colby no time. 

Silently, I stood up, grabbed my phone and walked out the door. Didn't answer Elton's question of where I was going, nothing unusual there, but seems like he wasn't too curious on the matter since he didn't come outside after me. I hopped in my car and started driving, and unlike usual, I actually had a destination in mind. A destination that I need to put into my GPS because it's the second time I'm going there. The first time going there my brain was off, and I didn't memorize any of the directions. 

I nearly turned around and sped off once I arrived. 

No going back now. You were acting all tough a moment ago, can't back out now, Sabrina.

One step closer.

Deep breaths, Sabrina.

Another step closer.

You've got this.

I'm walking towards the source of my uneasiness.

Told you, you've got this.

My legs are on autopilot mode. 

No stopping.

I know. I know there's no stopping now. If I do, I'll remain in that one spot.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Colby. He was even more pale than before. He was borderline blue. Maybe it was the shadows playing games on his skin, or my vision playing tricks on me, but he looked scarily different. His right hand was wrapped up in bandages which had a dark red stain over his knuckles. His eyes were bloodshot, not the kind you get when you've been crying, his were enraged. His lips and eyes were the only parts of his face with any color. Even if that color was a frightening shade of red.

- Here to take a few more punches? Go ahead, I'm free - he said, his voice hoarse 

- You're the one who's doing the punching around here - I replied, all my uncertainty gone.

NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DAMN IT! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO MAKE UP WITH HIM, NOT ARGUE EVEN MORE! 

That rational voice in my head was really angry with me after such a statement, but I didn't care, about anything.

- Low blow, Sab. Low even for you - he sneered and got closer to the bars separating us.

I doubt he was thinking the same, but I wanted those bars removed so I could throw a few (really weak) punches. I just wanted to pass onto him at least one eighth of my pain. I knew I couldn't. I knew it was not the right way to think. Hell, it wasn't even a way to think. I wasn't thinking. 

One thing I was sure of: neither of us meant the things we said that day. There was no use holding a grudge over all those insults and petty comments when we were both so broken when we said them.

- You're right. The low blows are for me. You aim straight for the face, apparently. - I said with a fake smile.

- Oh come on now, Sab. You know me, I don't always punch in the same spot - he copied my smile which only made me even madder

- The you I know doesn't punch, period - My smile disappeared. If I had the ability to burn holes through things with my gaze, Colby would've had dozens of holes burnt into his face.

- Oh really? Well the you I know doesn't just run off without asking an explanation. If I remember correctly, you are a pretty curious type. Correct me if I'm wrong, though. I mean, I haven't known you for a while now, have I? - the smug smirk he gave me at the end of that was not fake. He was genuinely pleased with himself.

And I had enough. With a scoff, I left without even looking over my shoulder. And I promised myself that, for once, I wasn't going to be the bigger person and apologize.