Static /// Colby Brock

My shadow, my curse

Sabrina's POV

My alarm scared me out of my blank dream. I turned it off and rolled over to resume sleeping. However, I remembered why I had set it to begin with. I sat up so fast, the room started spinning around me. I rested my forehead in the palm of my hand and waited for my brain to stop doing flips. Once I felt stable enough to stand up, I walked over to my closet and flicked the light switch. For a second I stopped to think why there was no sunlight seeping in my room. My clock reminded me it was 5 AM and made me want to smack myself across the face. I took out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that surprisingly didn't smell like it hadn't been washed in months. I debated weather to take a shower. Yes, I know I'm gross. I got ready, putting on the chosen outfit and headed downstairs. The house was eerily quiet. No Austin, no Vona. Austin went to his own house the night before to pack last minute. And I took Vona to Vanessa's house the previous day. I took an apple from the fruit bowl and made a few last checks of the content of my backpack. Phone, charger for said phone, earphones, gum, "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks, sunglasses, sleeping pills. Perfect. I finished my apple and walked out in the hallway, heading for my front door. I got an uneasy feeling the second I laid eyes on my suitcases. It felt like a pit had opened up in my stomach and I was slowly sinking into it, with nothing to hold on to. I've never been afraid of flying, but I blamed my nonexistent plane anxiety for the feeling in my stomach. I couldn't explain why I got it all of a sudden, but just hoped it would go away before I boarded the plane. All I needed was a little turbulence and I was gonna start throwing up, and let me tell you, that was the last thing I wanted. I collected my luggage, locked up my house and took off walking with fast footsteps towards the subway station to get to New York City.

6 hours later, I had turned into a weak version of the Hulk. My face was green, border line blue by the time we landed. I met up with Austin back at the airport in NYC. The feeling of uneasiness only grew worse once we boarded the plane and took off. 

~ You're not ready for what's coming. Not ready for who's waiting for you. ~ Were the sentences that woke me up from my 15 minute nap I somehow managed to take 2 hours into the flight. A deep, unrecognizable voice said those sentences. I jerked awake and found that I was covered in cold sweat. Apart from that phrase, the dream was blank. Pitch black and nothing to see. That's what I remember at least. Thankfully, Austin was sound asleep next to me and didn't notice me having a panic attack. I don't know how I could've possibly explained what made me jump out of my skin even if he noticed.

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. The flight was a nightmare. And freezing. The plane itself wasn't cold, it seemed like the cold was beneath my skin, a partnering torture with the sinkhole in my stomach. When we finally landed, Austin had to hold me up for the first 10 minutes of me walking around on solid ground with not so solid feet. I was a blue, unstable wreck. My guts were twisting and turning, giving me the suggestion that I would throw up if I tried eating. 

By the time we arrived at the hotel, my face had stopped changing color and just stuck with white. I'm glad I didn't run into any children. I could've scared the shit out of them. I got myself a Pepsi can from the vending machine in the hotel lobby and took a sip. It was as if my soul was returned to me, at least a little. I washed my face and tried taking a nap which, once again, didn't work. At around 5 PM, I began looking like a human again. We went out for lunch and made some clubbing plans with a friend of Austin's. The pit in my stomach was still there, but I tried to ignore it. In my mind, ignoring it would result in it going away. Well, I was wrong.

At around 8, we met up with Austin's friends Lucas in a bar I don't remember the name of. A few drinks later, Austin and Lucas began talking about the company Austin was working for and I started losing interest. The topic was obviously not up my alley, so I excused myself to go and grab myself another drink. Austin noticed how bored I was and offered to dance with me. I declined the offer, far too tired to dance, my feet were killing me too. I hopped up on one of the bar stools and ordered myself a martini. Then another. And another. Then I moved onto vodka. Quite irresponsible of me, I know.