Always And Forever (Kakashi Hatake Love Story)

Part 15

"I love you, Asami."

Asami froze in her place, trying to comprehend what she had just heard.

"I promise, I'll always keep you happy. Please be mine," Iruka went on, his voice filled with hope. He was looking at her, his brown eyes staring into her emerald ones, desperately waiting for her answer.

She could see in his eyes, that he was being honest. His feelings were genuine. She didn't love him, and she knew she would never ever be able to give him what he deserved. But, she didn't want to hurt him either by bluntly turning him down. She understood well how exactly it felt when someone you love doesn't love you back.

Asami reluctantly pulled her hand away from his grasp and took a step back. Iruka seemed visibly disheartened.

"I need time to think," she answered, averting her gaze. 

"It's okay." He smiled half-heartedly. "Take as much time as you need."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Good night," she murmured and walked away.

As soon as she was out of his sight, Asami pace quickened and she started running, not understanding what exactly was happening to her. Her heart was racing. She was feeling lost and helpless, not knowing anything, not having any idea of what she should do.. what should her next step be?

Asami arrived at her apartment and went inside. She closed the door and leaned against it to catch her breath. As soon as she did so, tears spilled out of her eyes. She walked into her bedroom and sat on the window-seat, hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, staring outside the window.

Tears were flowing out of her eyes, and she didn't do anything to stop them and let them flow freely, as much as and as long as they wanted to.

"I can't deny my feelings.."

"I've always loved you, Kakashi. I still do, and I'll forever."

"Even after knowing that you love someone else, I can't stop loving you. I can't love someone else.."

"I just cant."

Her heart was aching. She hugged her knees tighter.

"What should I do? Should I choose the path with the person who loves me, but whom I don't love, and forget about the person I love? Or should I just live my life alone, loving the person whose heart belongs to someone else?"

"I can't see where these paths will take me. Should I do something else?"

Asami questioned herself, staring at the glowing full-moon.

The moon was shining, alone in the dark, surrounded by the darkness, probably lost, with no path visible for itself, but was still illuminating countless paths for others, guiding their way through the darkness and protecting them from getting lost.

There was no one to answer her questions, to tell her what she should do, to guide her what path she should follow. She just sat there with streaming tears and aching heart, not reaching any decision.

Everything in her mind and heart felt so heavy. She felt hopeless.

"I'm lost."

The heaviness inside her chest didn't lessen, as she continued to cry. That Anko and Kakashi kissing scene, Iruka's confession, her ignoring Kakashi and his disappointed face, all these things were replaying in her mind over and over again like some sort of film.

Asami clutched her eyes shut and buried her face into her knees, but those scenes continued to play in her mind, making her feel more and more depressed.

Meanwhile

Kakashi was lying on a tree branch, one arm folded under his head and the other hand holding his book in front of his face. The book was open, but his eye was on the night sky. He was in his own world, thinking about a certain someone.

He couldn't deal with the idea of her being with Iruka. What was even more bothersome for him was the way she had avoided him. He was feeling alone and powerless, wanting to do something but was unable to think of anything at the moment. 

Being in a state of mixed emotions, he himself couldn't figure out what he was feeling. Was he angry or hurt, sad or jealous, disappointed or confused? He couldn't tell.

His onyx eye that was usually placid, wasn't looking calm anymore. There were so many things flowing through it, creating a tsunami of unreadable emotions.

"Why would she do this?" 

He let out a deep sigh of despair.

The night was long and seemed endless to both of them.

Next Morning

Asami woke up to the sunlight gleaming through her bedroom window. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the clock. Her eyes widened for a moment. She had slept till 11 am. But that was to be expected, because she was able to sleep after 5 in the morning. She couldn't sleep the whole night. She was thinking, and she had decided what she was going to answer Iruka.

After changing into her outfit and doing her morning routine, Asami left her apartment to go grab something to eat. She ended up in a dango shop.

After eating, she decided to take a walk in the forest to clear her mind in the fresh air. She turned the corner of a street only to find Kakashi coming from the other end of the same street.

They both stopped upon seeing each other.

Kakashi opened his mouth to call her name, but Asami immediately looked away and began to talk to a shopkeeper who was selling some fruits.

"She's definitely avoiding me." Kakashi furrowed his brows. He decided to go and talk to her directly, but Asuma showed up in front of him, and Asami took this opportunity to escape.

Kakashi looked over to where she was standing a moment ago only to find her already gone. This made his heart sink. 

"Why?" He narrowed his eye and thought in dismay, "Did I do something wrong?"

It hurts when the person most precious to you starts ignoring you all of a sudden, when you don't even know the reason. This bond was special to him, and he could feel it weakening.

 "I don't want to lose her."