The Teenager Mind

chapter 7

So, let me fast backwards all when I was 2 years old again. (i'm so sorry for all the confusing timeline stuff) I when my family was actually happy.

At least I think.

There's my mom, age 53, Esther, she had a perm done in the 80s, I think...idk....she has blonde hair with blue eyes and she does not look like she's in her fifties, she wears a lot of makeup for even unnecessary trips and just overall is your typical mom that you would hate when she told you to do the laundry or the dishes and said that you can't hang out with your friends. Of course I didn't get that relatableness until I was maybe a whiny little brat 5, 6 and 7 years old.

my dad, age 63, Terrence or Terry is a guy really really really dark tan, not because that's his skin color but just because he's quite literally burnt from the Sun. He's over here looking like Santa Claus with a white beard but trim short so he's not technically all Santa. he has gray hair almost turning into white, and he had baby blue Hazel like eyes and the Beautiful Smile that was all fake teeth by him smoking for 32 years. ever since he was 12....

when maybe I was six, you couldn't really tell he was old but when I was 12 and he got into a really depressive state, he was just bones. he was so Brittle you could break him. he was almost anorexic and had a lot of trouble just moving around. I remember some nights in the summer or just in the weekend I would pray to God hoping that he would just live just a little longer....

I would just cry myself to sleep, hearing him coughing and choking on his spit while he slept..... I miss him. so much....

Now there's my four Brothers, technically five where he's a step brother. Now this is the part where I say I have 16 sisters,

but nope.

I have no sisters whatsoever. I was just stuck being bullied and tortured by my very older brothers.

The quote on quote youngest one, age 20, Thomas or Tommy had Justin Bieber's haircut really dark brown hair and very overall muscular guy
he now trimmed his hair, don't worry. He also now has a barely visible beard which is just making me want to shave it completely off. Like you either have a beard or you don't.

the next is Kevin, age 21, where recently he now has glasses that are like Harry Potter and has very fluffy and buoyancy brown hair, he's very tall and skinny and walks on his tiptoes constantly.

the next brother is Matthew or matt, age 24, where he's a very useful handyman and can work on just about any car you give him. he always wear hats and has a beard that is turning red which makes him look alike a leprechaun, a very big one I should say.

then there's my half-brother Jason, age 37, brother from another mother if you will. I've recently seen him by my dad's funeral where he has gray hair now. But from before, I memory he had black short stubby hair a nice black beard and was pretty skinny but short guy.

Now my technical step brother Joey, age 23, He technical because my mom now has a boyfriend which I'm pretty sure she's going to marry soon which then makes me have another brother....he has long brown hair that he keeps up in a man bunand. He has a little stubby Brown beard, he is skinny like my brother Kevin and all around these guys are okay I guess.

this is my dad's funeral.

The far left is my brother Kevin, next one is Tommy,

I'm in the middle on my knees so you can see my dad's urn,

Jason is on the right of me

And Matt is on the far right,

Joey is not present here.

my 3 real brothers always picked on me any chance they got. it really hurt me but I'm now realizing that it was just plain sister and brother rivalry where we still constantly have it to this day. actually now that I'm thinking about it we really don't cuz I don't even see my brother's anymore since Matt and Kevin moved out. my brother Tommy still has lived here but he is always preoccupied with his three monitor computer by playing fortnite and all those other popular games. wait, I'm talking about now! now as in like 13-year-old-self-me now!

I guess There's really no difference. the only thing that was different is at my dad and mom were a little bit more healthier back then, so they would take me out to actually have a fun childhood.

but me being the fifth/fourth child just made them tired. They never really bothered to entertain me after a couple years just because they were so worn out by all my other brothers, it just made me alone for so many years where I got bullied at school. It wasn't hard bullying, just very mildly verbal talks, but as the years went on I just kind of got used to it. and now I constantly insult myself, saying how fat and ugly I look.

apparently that's comes from every teen in the world.

Look how relatable I'm being.