The Teenager Mind

chapter 8

Now with those physical traits out of the way, here's the mental part of it.

Oh no.

when I was about 10 I think my parents had marriage issues. actually scratch that they definitely had Mary issues. my dad had trucker job where he would be gone for weeks and weeks and weeks. I actually remembered when I was waiting for my dad to get home from his janitor job but then find out that he wasn't coming home and he was going to be gone for 2 weeks. I had every single stuffed animals shoved in bed with me and just constantly terrified of those Creepypastas I learned about.

I now realize he got that job because of the money not because he wanted to escape from this family. he told me once had he had enough money he would pay off the house, were then we could all just go down to Florida, buy a yacht, and just party on it for the rest of our lives. He and Mom could retire and they could just live the Sweet life. But my mom thought that he was trying to get away from this family. Again I don't know the full story but somehow my mom wanted to pay back my dad? By cheating? She would go out to do quote on quote pickup and deliveries because my mom is a dental office worker, and then not come back until 12 or 3:00 in the morning.

We also find out that she use the family money to go out and drink and have fun at the bar with who knows who. It broke my dad. He was getting away to do this for us. He was doing it for the family, he cared he thought she also cared, but apparently not.

sooner or later the whole entire family knew about this Secret and just slowly started hating on my mom with every single breath we took in. we made it hell for her. I remember this one time that my brother Kevin and my mom got into this argument about bills and growing up

And

I decided to stand up.

this just had to stop,

my mom acting and being like this,

it just had to stop.

her lashing out on the Family saying that she does everything for us when we know her little secret. I screeched "stop it!". When then my brother  marched out his room and started throwing the secret; me, my brothers, and my dad, all kept quiet. just throwing it in her face and just letting her look at her mistake.

it was disgusting.

I hated her.

I also feared her....

she was starting to take control of this family, she was winning in all the arguments between my dad and her. my dad was just too weak to fight it. was really rough those couple years. the day it finally happened and those two broke up just made me cry. I still was too young to even know that was a thing, that could happen, I didn't even know what was going to happen next. For the next three days I help my dad moved into his new house; an hour away from ours.

it was small, but it was a nice home and like it. Especially that this time it was just me and my dad. No nagging Brothers, No nagging mother.

I was allowed to have  ice cream for breakfast and lay on the couch watching movies for hours and hours. I was going to do everything I possibly could do to make my dad smile again. we teenagers do so much for the ones that we care when people sometimes don't even realize it. we might lash out in school and do bad things just because the way people are acting towards the ones that we love. we're just mad. that just make us do these things.

We're Young, we still don't know how to control our emotions, you expect us to know the whole answers of the universe? do expect us to act like how you want us too when I don't even know who you are? school was not even existed during that time period.

I just constantly worried about my family than School. when those horrible things were happening at home I literally would just cry myself to sleep, waking up with red and puffy eyes....

sooner or later I finally meant this mysterious boyfriend of my mom and he now technically lives with us and sooner or later, I know he's going to be part of the family. where I haved talked to my counselors multiple times and i'm never going to be comfortable with. she says it's okay and doesn't expect me to just let him in with open arms since I cared about my own father so much. but it's just not accepting, I'm fine with that. he's a really great guy......he cooks amazing food and he seems to make my mom happy....

it's just the part of Replacing.

Having the name 'stepdad' has the word dad in it. and I know for a fact

he will never be.