The Teenager Mind

chapter 13

So remember when I said I didn't like dating and love? Well I don't and I still don't in fact I absolutely hate it Now by this terrible night that happened.

I was stupid and was just curious and that always bad, especially when a teen doesn't know what they're getting into. after all that saying, curiosity kills the cat.

And boy, did it kill me.

I was hanging out with my cousin one day and she the type of person to date others like it's normal to this universe. Where it supposedly is considering that's how you make your species continue. then again that's only if you choose to go that far. back then you kind of had to....

I got out of control and started thinking the same thing that it's just dating! And since I'm a teen, it's not really consider that.

I'm just starting to realize that I was just scared of the fact of the thing that I'm doing is called dating. I don't want it to be call dating because I don't be the person that does that. Especially that I'm a girl. If you're dating a guy you're going to look or maybe and maybe act like it. a thot or whore or slut or hoe or whatever those stupid dramatic and selfish girls on the internet say.

I have always wanted to be unique. like your my family always says when you did good on something in school. Like by being a girl that looks pretty or in my words "normal". But also be very weird and strange, in a good way tho.

mainly by I just don't want people judging girls. in thinking that they're just here to give men pleasure and that they're not allowed to workout or they're not allowed to behave like that or anything that girl get hated on like......like gaming!

Guys just think girls game so they can get dates or some stupid like that!

Some of my friends actually game because they game, okay!? girls and guys are not that different from each other.
Realize it you nerdy, Call of Duty, Dorito eating, guys out there!

so I didn't really want to date anyone. but I was just curious on what it was like, dating. so this random guy, I never mentioned before in this book which is weird considering I talked about all the guys that previously like me, and started dating him I guess???

I don't talk to any strangers that I don't know! well that's a lie, but I don't share my information with strangers I don't know okay! I have that melted in my brain by school. I'm telling you this because he's sort of a stranger to me because I never really met him in real life. Yeah I met him on FaceTime when my actual friend that I know in real life FaceTime to me. She moved far away.

Anyways, my said friend said that he like me and he reminded me is a cartoon character and he was an alright person so I said why not, almost the same exact storyline of the first guy AKA Joey.

literally not even 24 hours later, I was weird it out and said no to dating. we became friends. but said night hanging out with my cousin I decided to become........boyfriend and girlfriend again with him. saying and typing the sentence right now is just making me want to barf.

quite literally nothing happened between us and we were just talking like we were friends.

Untill, the whole "send me nudes" thing happened.

yeah. I was pretty crazy. I didn't, I only send a picture of my underwear......sorry God, don't hate me. FORGIVE SINS, FORGIVE SINS!!! PLEASE!! I'M SORRY. I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING IT! and with my L.A girls nudes palette. AKA my makeup that I never use.

why do stupid teens even do this in their everyday lives. And created this....

I decided to meet up with him in real life. now, we both agree that this was probably going to be the only time that we're going to see each other. and when nighttime came and everyone was asleep in the house,  it was just us two of us..........

things got very inappropriate...

a it was horrible now that I think about it. he started making jokes that he RAPE me last night. and that "last night was fun" the next day even though now that I realize it. It wasn't fun at all. and I never want to experience that EVER again.

And It's not like I can go to the police or my mom to this because it's my own fault for being "curious" in this matter. he also took a video of me saying that I "consented" to the whole night and That he didn't rape me.

and I hated it because now I REALLY know just that's what humans do to create babies.

Now I didn't lose my virginity because that is just way too far! and disgusting! I'm like a five-year-old child over here! that is a No-No in the zone-zone!

I was just curious to how people like doing this to be fully honest with you.

Remember when I said I write down all my thoughts into memos? as soon as possible when I get the chance to really pull out my thoughts on two pieces of paper so people can learn at least? Or to try to understand?

Well I did. And I'm going to share it in the next chapter because this one is going to become too long. With my blabber mouth. Speaking of blabbermouth here's some information I just want to say.

recently, I got into a very unpopular fandom where I've been seeing a lot of videos on it. people just really hating it because they're misunderstood by it. technically that is actually the second unpopular fandom i'm in because the first one is My Little Pony! we're bronies, were and still a little bit to this day Are hated on just because  how quote on quote cringy they are. And how liking a girl show for let alone 5 year old Are weird. And let me say this to you right now. Just because you don't do it or do these things these fandoms do or anything that you just don't do in your everyday life isn't considered weird or unusual. Don't fully judge the subject before you actually do some research! I'm also talking to the news channels out there, because the news have talked about Bronies in a very disrespectful way. along with the second fandom I'm in.

And like I said I'm the last chapter, I'll talk about that later....

Now let's get to the earth and mind shattering deep depress  memos of me explaining every single thing that was going through my head, a day after the experience....