How to kill Peter Parker

Chapter Three

"What in the actual hell...?" I say quietly while I start climbing my web. I look up to see Deadpool at the top, looking out the door. 

"Need help, baby boy?" He called. 

My eyes widened. "Don't call me that!" I said. Such a ridiculous nickname.

Finally, I get to the top and walk into the doorway.

"Why the h-hell is there a-a-a door that leads straight into water?" I say out of breath from climbing. Deadpool smiles under his mask. 

"I warned you." He laughed.

"Why the hell am I on a boat?" I ask, leaning out of the doorway to try and look for land. Which is nowhere in sight. Not from my view at least. 

"I don't know, ask the douchebag who pulled you on here!" He said.

"How are we getting off?" I ask.

"Well you probably can't fly, can you?" He asked too seriously.

"No, I can't Deadpool." I said rolling my eyes. I turned around and closed the door behind me, a foul smell filling my nose. "Agh! Could you at least do something with the body?!" I wined. 

"Like what?! Give it a bath?!" He joked. I snorted and continued inside, staying far away from the body. I finally got to get a better look at the scenery. 

The walls were metal, along with the floor and ceiling. The ceiling had big white lights hanging from it. I saw wooden boxes stacked in areas around the room, and there was a table next to the chair I was laid back on. Other than that, the room was empty. But there was a door in sight. 

"Where does that door lead to?" I asked Deadpool, hoping he'd know.

"I don't know sweet cheeks, but it doesn't hurt to find out... like an adventure!" He chirped happily.

I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes.

"Comeon' Spidey, let's see what's behind this door!" He said, picking up his pace to walk right next to me. We went up to the door.

I pulled the handle, but it was locked.

"Oh motherfucker!" Deadpool said, then kicked the door. It opened reluctantly.

"Well that was easy." I commented. 

He gave me a slight push and said "After you." I sighed and made my way into the pitch black room.

"Hmm I wonder if there's torture devices here. Or maybe this is a weapon room. Ooh, maybe it's a room used for-"

"Shut up!" I demanded, "Listen." I said, and the sound of boots clanking against the metal floor was getting closer to us.

"Oh someone's coming! Do you think they're delivering us pizza?!" 

I turned around and slapped his chest. "This is serious!" I said.

"Oh I know. This is seriously serious and we need to pay serious attention to what's about to happen or something serious is going to seriously hurt us." 

Then, a door on the other side of the room busted open.

Deadpool sighed. "Seriously?"

A bunch of soldiers' shadows stood at the doorway.

"We're screwed."

Sunday
4:00 A.M 

"Hahaha Spidey! You should've seen your face!" Deadpool laughed when we finished taking down the soldiers at the door.

My heart jumped at the thought that my mask wasn't on my face somehow, but I checked to make sure. When I felt the mask, I let out a sigh of relief. "You can't even see my face smart one." I commented. 

"Well you kinda just stood there like a bitch who realized her brother is fucking her mom... so same thing." He replied. I made a grossed-out face that he couldn't see, wondering why the heck he would say that. "And like, you wouldn't even let me kill the soldiers? Golly! Controlling wife am I right?" He snorted. I shot him a look.

"What?!" He asked innocently.

"Let's just get the hell off this ship before I kill you." I say, making my way to the door the soldiers came from. 

"Ouch, that hurt Spidey." Deadpool says, dramatically putting his hand to his chest. I roll my eyes and walk into the hallway. 

The hall goes down for what looks like miles both left and right. 

"Well shit!" Deadpool yells, his voice echoing down the halls. 

"How the hell are we getting off this thing?!" I ask.

"We could like... kill the captain and take over the-"

"No!" I cut him off. "No killing!" I say.

He sighs. "Lame." 

I start walking down the hallway, looking at the doors that fill each wall. None of them are labeled. I stop when one of the doors has a "caution" sign on it. I walk up to it and look through the small window to try and see something, but the lights are off.

"Ooh! Caution! I think that's Japanese for 'let's go in'!" Deadpool cheerily says. 

"Uh, I don't think that's such a great idea-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP 

Instantly, a red flashing light fills the hallways and a loud alarm goes off. 

"Well isn't that convenient." Deadpool says. 

"Someone pulled the alarm, we need to get out of here fast." I say as calmly as possible, though my heart is beating a million miles. 

"Chill out Spidey, follow me." He says, motioning me down the hallway.

We sprint down the hallway while I silently pray Deadpool knows what he's doing. He turns into a door on the left and we enter a bright room. The captain is sitting on a chair in front of control systems.

"What are you-" I begin as Deadpool dashes to the captain. 

"Wait! Don't you-" I start, but the captain is already dead on the ground before I can finish. I struggle to catch my breath as I see the newly dead corpse tossed across the room.

"No time for mourning Spidey, we have to get out of here." Deadpool says, taking the wheel. 

He turns the ship around, and we're headed home.

Hopefully.