BONUS CHAPTER! I FELT BAD ABOUT NOT POSTING FOR A WHILE, SO HERE WE GO!
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Teacher: "Why didn't you study"
Me: "Each year has 365 Days. Take Away 52 Sundays = 313. 50 days in Summer, which school is not going on = 263. Sleep for 8 hours a day that is 122 days = 141. Fool/play around for 1 hour a day it’s 15 days = 126. Spend 2 hours eating each day is 30 days = 96. 1 hour a day talking to friends/family is 15 more days = 81. Exams & Tests take up at least 35 days = 46. Approximately 40 days are used for holidays = 6. You spend about 3 days sick = 3. You go out with friends/by yourself for about a total of = 2. That leaves you with one day. That one day you’re left with is your birthday…"
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Her: "I feel horrible; I look fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
Him: While reading the paper, murmers: "Well, your eyesights damn near perfect."
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Crush: I think I like this girl...
Me: Really? Who?
Crush: She looks kinda like you.
Me: Awwww is it me? <3
Crush: No, but it is your sister.
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"Zach you're so dirty! I want to actually see my room! So, I'm moving into the closet!"
If you don't know what this means, then we can't be friends.
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Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
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Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
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