Hyde And Jekyll / min yoongi (#10)

Chapter 35

HeeRa

I would stay by his side if I had known, I would do anything just to be next to him if I have known. I would risk everything that I have just to take care of him if I have known. I just realized how selfish I was, because of me, I didn't care about anything else other than myself. Because of my selfishness, I had forgotten about everything just for my happiness. I forgot about Min Yoongi, the man who made me the happiest human for the last 2 weeks and I have ruined it all because of my selfishness.

So what if he isn't straight? Hazel isn't attracted to men as well but yet I still treated her as a friend, I didn't just decide to ignore her because of her sexual orientation. She is still a human with other preferences compared to the others, she isn't going to be a demon if she likes women.

So why am I treating Min Yoongi like this? It is not like he will betray me for another man, he had chosen me to love and that is his final choice. And I am the bad one who is being homophobic over the entire situation. Why am I like this?

Even if we don't end up together again, we could be friends and I've just ruined that very opportunity and now he is being like this. I'm a bad bitch...

I walked closer to him, my hands were trembling and I can't stop it from shaking, I was in great shock over what I have done to Min Yoongi. He is such an angel and he has been hurt once due to love, I can't believe that I had hurt him the same way he got hurt. I rejected his love for me because he wasn't the kind of guy that I wanted to be with, I wanted someone who liked girls.

Kwon Dongwoo was also the same, he didn't believe that his friend has feelings for him and urged him to find someone better than him. It was also because he was going to die and it is not good for Min yoongi to continue having feelings for him when he is going to die. Compared to him, I am the bad guy, I rejected him because of my selfishness and not because I was at the edge of my own death.

If I have known that he would do something like this, I would've asked him more when he cancelled our study session a few hours before, I would've smiled at him more, I would've not gotten into a fight with him, I would've loved him even more. But I didn't, and that is the consequences that I have to face.

He was really pale, his forehead glistening with sweat and he was shivering, he was indeed sick like what Namjoon has said to me. But his eyes were closed shut, something that I am afraid of, nothing good ever happens when it is in a situation like this.

"Min Yoongi, Min Yoongi!" I called his name out loud shaking him slightly to wake him up but he didn't respond at all. I looked over at the bottle of pills at his bedside table and I panicked, even more, I picked up the bottle and it is empty. Did he overdose on the pills?

My eyes doubled in size as I comprehended the situation, realizing that he has just attempted suicide and he is suffering on his deathbed, right in front of my eyes. I can't allow this to happen...

A tear streamed down my cheek as I broke down completely, I simply couldn't take it anymore. He is gone, he is not around anymore, I was a step too late. My body began shaking and I couldn't control myself at all, my tears streaming down like a waterfall and I let out a loud cry, telling myself that it is too late for me to do anything. Why didn't I run to him?

I should've run to his room that day when I came back to school after the holidays, I shouldn't have stayed in the room for the whole day trying to comfort myself. I should've cared less about my own feelings, I have my own friends who can help me with that but there is no one who will actually comfort Min Yoongi.

He is that kind of person to keep everything inside and never lets it out until he can't take it anymore, and when he can't take it anymore, he will do such a thing to himself thinking that no one will ever know. But at least NamJoon ssi knows that he is suffering and has brought me to see him, it is a little too late and I missed the last chance to ever stop him.

"Min Yoongi, don't die on me!" I sat down on his bed and caressed his face, tracing his facial features with my finger as my tears kept flowing nonstop. On a day like this, there is no way that I can be heartless, I am not that heartless, especially to the people that I care about and Min Yoongi is included in it. He is already in that category ever since I started to have feelings for him and allows him to slip into my life.

I heard a groan and I immediately stopped crying, thinking that I might hear it wrong. Can a dead person even make sounds?

I looked towards him and he is trying to open his eyes, his mouth opening a little this time as if he is in a deep slumber. What the actual... I thought that he was dead, how is he alive?

And soon, he was making eye contact with me, confused over why I am in his bed and sitting so close to him. "Why are you here?"

I let out a scream, jumping out of his bed and running away as far as possible. Why is he talking? "A ghost! A ghost is talking to me! What the shit!"

He did nothing but to let out a huge yawn and rubbed his eyes, sitting up on his bed and then rubbing his stomach. "Can't you freak out so much every time? I know that I am pale but I am still a human."

I pointed my finger at him as I continued to express my shock. "I thought that you were dead, why are you alive?"

"What are you talking about? I'm dead?" He scratched his head. "You looked so pale and there is an empty bottle of pills next to the table."

He picks up the empty bottle. "It is for my diarrhoea, I thought that you knew about it. I have bought this bottle a long time ago and I have stomachaches quite frequently so I take this a lot and so--"

I ran towards him and I jumped into his arms, letting my body fall into his as I continued to cry. "I'm glad that you are fine, do you know how worried I was? I was so scared that you might commit suicide because of me, I'm afraid that I have hurt you and I'm sorry that I have done that. I still love you a lot, Min Yoongi. I wasn't in my right mind when I said that to you, I jumped to conclusions without knowing the entire story and I misjudged you. Why didn't you correct me at all?"

His hand touched my head and he stroked my hair. "You were right about it, I was indeed gay and I once had feelings for my best friend. It is because he was too nice to me and I have fallen for his kindness but he doesn't feel the same way as me. You are the only one who feels the same as me and I can't live without you, I need you by my side. My life feels empty without you and I don't want that, I want you to be with me again."

"Min Yoongi..."

"I know that it is too sudden to say that but let's start dating again, this time it will be official and I will spend all of my time to tutor you so that you can go to college successfully. I will spend all of my time just to make you happy, I know that it sounds very cliché but I really like you and I don't want to let you go ever again."

I leaned forward for a kiss. "Yes, my tutor. But before that, let's get to know each other even more."