hot chocolate [sodapop curtis]

CHP. 13

☕️
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SODAPOP IS A DEEP SLEEPER. I HOPE.
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When I arrived at the Curtis House, I parked Buck's fancy car in their driveway. On the way, I had been coming up with a reason to be there.

"Have you seen Sylvianna? I lost her at a party at Buck's, I've looked everywhere. Do I mention Ponyboy or Johnny? Should I ask? Wait for it to come up?" I whisper to myself, walking up their driveway. Apparently, Soda saw me from the window and ran outside.

"Casey!" He launched himself at my and embraced me in a hug. He looked terrible. But- I mean- still hot at ever. Was it possible for him to look unattractive? What is this witchcraft?

"Soda! What's wrong, are you alright?" I said softly, hugging him tight. I knew it was selfish that I was enjoying this while he was going through something incredibly difficult, but I couldn't help it. I really liked him and all I wanted was to be close with him; be around him. Sadly, he pulled away.

"It's Pony. He's gone. Darry hit him- it was in the moment and he was angry- but I don't know where Pony went. I'm scared." He looked on the verge of tears. I wanted to hug him again and absorb all of his pain, but I knew it wasn't appropriate. He had a girlfriend.

"That's actually why I came here. Sylvia's gone, too," I say, putting my lie in action. Soda frowns.

"Come in." He grabbed my hand and dragged me to his porch and into his house. I savoured the moment of our hands touching for as long as I could. I know, bad timing.

I step in though the door, expecting to see Darry on his chair, reading the paper, but to my avail, he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Is Darry here?" I ask timidly, hoping he's not searching high and low for Pony. Soda frowns.

"He's in his room. He went searching for Pony and hour ago, but he couldn't find him. I finally got him to stay here, but I feel like it's not helping. I'm doing everything wrong. I mean, especially everything with Sandy, I just-" Soda falls back onto the couch, putting his head in his hands. I sit next to him upon hearing about Sandy.

"What happened with Sandy? Is everything alright between you two?" I asked, mentally punching myself in the throat because it was such a cliché thing to say. He laughed emotionlessly, and turned to look at me.

"Well, she's pregnant. And I proposed to her because I was in love with her and I thought we could raise the baby together. I know it's not mine, but I still wanted to be with her because I didn't care whether it was mine or not, even though she cheated on me. And now she's moving to Florida with her grandmother." He finished on the verge of tears. My eyes pricked with tears as well and I gave him a sympathetic look.

"Oh, Soda..." I trailed off and pulled him into a hug which he gladly welcomed. As I sat there with his arms wrapped tightly around me, him crying on my shoulder, I hated myself more than I ever have. I am the cause of all this pain. I know where his brother is and I could tell him and something in his life could be good, but instead of that, I'm hugging him and keeping everything I know to myself. I suddenly feel guiltier than I did before.

We held each other for a little while longer, and I pulled away after I felt it was time. I rearranged the way I was sitting so I was cross legged and facing Soda. I stared him in the eye sadly and softly place a hand on his shoulder. "You're not doing anything wrong. Hell, you're doing all the right things. You're making sure your brother isn't killing himself over something neither of you could change, you proposed to a woman you loved and even after she told you the baby wasn't yours, you loved her regardless. And here you are, feeling like everything's happened because of you and it's all your fault. Soda, I need you to understand that none of this is your fault. You are the sweetest person I've ever encountered and your brothers are so lucky to have someone like you worrying about them. Ponyboy is out there somewhere, it's going to be okay. I promise." I grabbed his hand halfway through my speech, and I'm only realizing after my whole spiel how inappropriate that was for me to do that. My face went a subtle red and I let go of his hands, shaking my head to regain any composure I had in the first place.