Alex's blood froze when the sound of the door opening was heard from the kitchen. Rose instantly walked into the living room, greeting her excited looking girlfriend that had no idea what had happened. Lisa looked at her confused when the other girl hang her head low, avoiding looking at her directly in the eyes. Soon, Alex walked in the living room with the same look on her face, that confused Lisa even more. "Something wrong?" Lisa asked once both of her roommates were standing in front of her. Rose didn't say anything, and neither did Alex they only stared at each other until Rose finally handed Lisa her diary. Lisa was shocked when her girlfriend just gave her the diary with an empty look on her face. Alex's eyes avoided both hers and Rose's look. "I'm sorry" Lisa heard Alex whispering, her voice cracking a little bit. "I had to know, I wanted to help you" she continued but the only thing that Lisa could hear was a buzzing noise in her ears. She had no idea if Alex had shared the content of her diary with Rose, she certainly hoped that she wouldn't have, but Lisa knew for sure that her friend knew everything that Lisa had been writing about in her diary. Everything. Every thought, every fear and every insecurity that Lisa had including her demons, Alex knew.
Lisa clenched her fists, trying so hard not to shout at both of them while her nails dug into her skin. "You read it?" She asked, her teeth biting down her tongue. "Huh? Did you fucking read it Alex?" Lisa threw the diary across the room, pages flying everywhere as her tone became louder. Alex didn't talk, she didn't even look at her, she only nodded her hands covering her face. Lisa couldn't suppress the anger she was feeling, she was looking around the living room trying desperately to find a way to release her anger when her fist hit the bookshelves so hard her hand went through it. "You had no fucking right!" She yelled at both of them, assuming Rose would have read it by now as well, tears forming in her eyes. Her legs gave out and Lisa was now on her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. To her it wasn't overreacting, she knew that everything in that diary was supposed to be just for her and now Alex probably knew about her thoughts, even the details.
"I couldn't see you suffer like that" Alex's voice cracked in the end of her sentence. "I saw you destroying yourself, do you know how much that hurt me?" Alex kept talking to Lisa since Rose had no idea what her was referring to. Looking up with teary eyes, Lisa how swollen Alex's eyes were as well. "I wanted to help" she repeated herself again and she fell to her knees too, pulling Lisa in her arms both of them sobbing.
"What the hell is in there?" Rose, who was completely out of the conversation, asked but neither of them answered, something that gave her the impression that if it was something that Lisa would want to share, she would have by now. And that is the reason why she didn't ask anything else after that, she just let her two beloved roommates to calm down and eventually figure out things themselves because she couldn't involve herself into any of it. It was the best thing that she could have done, according to her.
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"I have to give up, but her image, her entire being, is engraved in my head." Alex read and closed the diary.
"That's showing pain Lisa" Alex said, her hands reaching out to hold Lisa's. Lisa nodded, going through her diary once again and feeling everything that she used to feel a couple months ago. "I've never seen anything like this" she admitted to her friend who sighed and cuddled up next to her in the couch.
"I am- was obsessed with her, Alex" Lisa told her roommate after correcting her mistake, something that for sure caught Alex's attention. "Sometimes she's still there" she confessed, and she felt like there was a knife going through her heart every time she talked about her. Alex wasn't blind or stupid, she could see how much this particular subject affected Lisa and she wanted to help as much as she could, but she would have to listen carefully to her first.
