MeMa 2019

MeMa#26: Dear Self

Dear self,

I am so sorry if I let you be ruined by others. I am so sorry if I let you keep searching for things that after all, you always deserve to have. I am so sorry if I let you beg for love and attention. I am so sorry if I let you chase people and things that will be unhealthy to you. I am so sorry if I let you embrace people and things that will only give you so much pain. I am so sorry if I was the one, all this time, who put so much burden on your shoulders, for being the first and the ultimate individual who let you down, question your worth, become uncertain on your potentials, give so much doubt on your beauty. I am so sorry if I am the one who is so blinded on every wonderful trait that you have.

We are both on the process. I have come to slowly realize all the worse things that I have done to you, slowly accepting that painful reality. Now, we are on the track of discerning things that needs to be fixed, those that we have to give up no matter how painful it is, those that we have to take and accept, no matter how awkward or ironic it may look like. All of the lessons from every mistake, all of the wisdom from the experiences this life that we have, they will all come to reach its purpose for us. Take heart, the best things in life come naturally.

For now, let me just say sorry for everything that I have done, and let me love you, slowly. In time, I will be having the urge to love you so much that you will always be part of my ultimate reasons to exist and be better in this world.