Officially Fake Dating {1}

Chapter 18

"You and Colton Danvers had sex!" Benji beamed as we walked into the library. I shushed him as we went to one of the bookcases. We were at the university library since he goes here. I was looking for To Kill A Mockingbird, it's one of my favorites to read after a long couple of months. Okay, I'll admit it, the whole time Colton and I were getting crazy in bed I couldn't stop thinking about Shawn. 

"It's not that big of a deal" I muttered as I grabbed the book. We sat down at one of the tables in the corner.

"It's a huge deal! I'm not gay and I would fuck that kid. You just got the chance of a lifetime" Benji responded and I rolled my eyes.

"It doesn't matter, it was just a rebound," I said and Benji cocked his eyebrow.

"No wonder why I saw a different look in your eyes when you and Colton went up to the bedroom" he teased and I rolled my eyes. 

"Yeah, because I was thinking about my ex-fiance the whole time" I spat and Benji put his hands up in defense. He started to work on his essay for robotics. He's trying to get a degree to be a robotics engineer. It was a smart idea considering that our country is becoming more advanced every day. It was quiet while he wrote his essay and I read. Eventually, Alex joined us and I raised my eyebrows.

"What?" I asked and Alex smiled.

"So,  we were wondering if you wanted to go on a road trip with us this summer" he answered and I looked at Benji. Benji smiled at me.

"Sure, but it's a little far out," I said and Alex rolled his eyes.

"Nothing is far out for us" he responded and I nodded in agreement. Alex had a test to study for so we all got quiet doing our own things. 

I found it hard to focus on what I was reading because the tune of If I Can't Have You was stuck in my head. I rolled my eyes and considering leaving, I decided against it. My mind drifted to Shawn and how I felt about him. This is real life and not a fan-fiction but I think I'm starting to like him. It's only been a couple of days since our 'break up' but I still missed whatever we had. Shawn is probably over it by now and continuing with the tour. He's probably forgotten about me already, and I should forget about him. But, it is hard to forget someone like him. 

"Rain, you alright?" Benji asked as he waved his hand infront of my face. I nodded when I realized I had been staring at a girl wearing a 'Shawn Mendes' shirt. She looked at me and waved, I looked away. Then she started walking over.

"You guys were supposed to tell me sooner if I was staring at anyone" I muttered as she apprached us. I smiled at the girl.

"Hi, my friends and I saw you looking at us. We were wondering if you wanted to hang out with us and wait for Shawn's new song to come out tonight" she invited and I looked at the guys. Then I realized what she said 'Shawn's new song'. 

"I had no idea he was releasing new music. But, I'm good. Thank you though" I said and then she walked away. I got on my phone and the guys looked at it right away. I looked up what Shawn's new song was called and I threw my phone onto the table. 

"The song is called If I Can't Have You" Alex muttered and I sighed. I can't believe he is still releasing it.

"He kinda wrote it infront of me" I admitted and he nodded.

"Maybe he wrote it about you" Benji suggested and I shook my head.

"No way, he had me and he lost me" I said as I turned my phone off. But, what if it is about me? I'll have to listen to it later. 

After about an hour of reading I left the guys and went home where my sister was waiting for me. She was jumping up and down in excitement, she was excited to hear If I Can't Have You. I told her I would stay up with her and listen to the song. There was something telling me this song isn't just a song from Shawn, I think it might be more than that. I don't know him or his music that much but I think I know him well enoguh to know better. 

^^^^

"Oh my god, it's out, the music video is out" Sunny stated as she clicked on the video. It was really late at night but I was as awake as I've ever been. The song was good and he kept a lot of the lyrics the same. I recognized that this song was about me, he mentioned Toronto and that's where I live. I felt like I was going to cry so I got up and went to my own room.

"Oh, I'm good at keeping my distance

I know that you're the feeling I'm missing" my phone sang as my vision got blurry. At the part of the music video where he is with the girl in bed I lost it. She looked like me. The bridge ruined me, he misses me and he's pouring his emotions out in the song. Why am I so dumb? No wonder why he asked if I liked him because he likes me. 

"Are you okay?" Sunny asked as she walked in. I shook my head and she hugged me. I let tears run down my cheeks. I felt bad for showing Sunny my weak side but I felt like she needed to know what heartbreak feels like so then she knows what she's heading into if she starts dating. 

"I miss him so much" I muttered and Sunny nodded. But then something dawned upon me. Shawn and I had broken the contract, we fell in love with each other. Oh my god. I fell in love with Shawn Mendes.