Richard Madden Fanfiction

Chapter Eight

The weeks have flown by and I have press coming up to talk about Titans and my new role. I'm heading to Budapest to start shooting The Last Kingdom first which I'm excited for. I broke up with Richard about a month ago after I had went through a particularly bad spell and saw the toll it took on him and as much as I love him I couldn't put him through that again. He's been spending a lot of time in LA for work which means my time off will be spent at home in London although it doesn't feel much like home anymore.

I'm meeting up with Millie for breakfast "Bold statement with the jacket" she says "Haven't you seen the paparazzi have already posted 'Freya proves she's over Madden and happy being single with statement jacket' posted twenty minutes ago. I thought leaving LA would stop all this but I just had to fall for the man of the moment didn't I" I say "I respect your decision but you can't keep running scared everytime something gets too real, you have to allow yourself to be happy darkness and all" she says "I watched my dad take care of my mom and it almost broke him how can I ask Richard to do that. Yes I'm getting better and I feel fine most of the time but when I don't I lash out and I become a different person how can I ask him to love two completely different people" I say "You just do because nothing else matters" she says and our food arrives.

After breakfast I decide to take a walk to clear my head and I end up outside Richards and I sit on his steps and dial his number and pray it goes to voicemail and it does "Hi it's Freya. I know I shouldn't be calling because how can we move on if we don't talk for awhile. I was so stupid and scared because that's what I do I get scared that the people I care about will leave me like my mom but it's the other way round I leave them. I shut them out and I let this other person inside of me who loves isolation and sadness take over and I convince myself I'm better off this way. I'm not I'm better when I'm with people because then I don't feel so alone, I felt like that every day with you but I let my fear win out and I pushed you away when I should of kept you close. I can't ask you to love two different people when you fell for a different me one I don't think  exists anymore and I fooled myself into thinking she did. I need time to figure out who I am again before I can be someone who can love you without fear and I'm not asking you to wait because that's not fair but I just needed to be honest with you because I owe you the truth" I say and send it.

I fly to Budapest two days later and begin training again and we have some time to spend exploring Budapest and just relaxing before shooting actually starts "I'm sure you've seen Mark and Arnas showing off on their Insta stories but what you don't see is them goofing off and being total idiots 90% of the time" I say and pan to them being idiots "As you can see we work extremely hard here on the last kingdom and are total professionals. I will be in New York in a week or two talking about my new role as Barbara Gordon and I'm making a hair change very soon" I say "Shameless promotion there Freya" Mark says "Shut it Rowley" I say "We're getting back into our Finan and Ellinor banter that also requires a lot of training because we're such good friends in real life" he says "The bestest although no one can replace the Arnas Mark bromance" I say "Never" Arnas says.

We've been back shooting around a month now and I'm loving being back on set and working with everyone again. I'm in hair and makeup when a runner comes in with flowers "These arrived about five minutes ago there's a card" he says "Thanks put them in my trailer in some water and hand me the card please" I say and I open it "Who's sending you flowers?" Millie asks "Taron along with a ticket to the Rocketman premiere in London next week he says Richard is miserable without me and misses me like crazy as does he" I say "You've found who you want to be I've seen the changes over the last few weeks more than last time stop punishing yourself and be with him" she says "I'll think about it" I say "Stop thinking so much and just do it" she says.

Whilst on a break from shooting I call Taron "You got my invite then" he says "Yes and if I could I'd be there but I have press all of next week. I have had another idea though but I'll need your help" I say "I'm listening" he says "I have a free day Thursday which is when the movie premieres at Cannes congrats on that by the way. I want to fly in surprise Richard and fix my stupid mistake" I say "He's already forgiven you after that voicemail everything made sense after that he respected your need for space" he says "One of the reasons I love him. If I pull this off I'll need a dress for the premiere and my team can't pull that off their on another job" I say "Gareth is here I'll let him know to find you something he's been wanting to style you" he says "That would be amazing" I say "I'll handle things on my end and you focus on getting here" he says "I will. Thank you Taron" I say "I want him to be happy and you make him happy" he says "I feel the same" I say and we say our goodbyes and hang up.