The Emo, The Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit.

Interview with Erin

1.How did you hear of twilight?

I was slaving, I mean working, in a book shop at the time. Simply minding my own business playing tetris with the book shelves, when loads of women were coming in buying this 'Twilight' book. They were raving about it, fighting with each other and generally salivating everywhere. So I thought I'd give it a bit of a mosey. Apparently, if you read Twilight after the entire series of Chronicles of Amber and it's horrendous let down of an ending, it's not that bad. I claim that you're initially blinded by the sparkles, then brainwashed by the general moping until you get to the end when you realise it's a load of twaddle, and ended pretty much how the COA did. Big build up, then nothing and a really disappointing ending. You can compare it to something else, but I'm a lady and I don't talk about stuff like that....that's Stacey's department...funnily enough it's also how I found out about Emo's.

2. What do you think of the Twilight book?

...I think I made my point in the above statement...and most of this book. But if you're still begging for it, I shall continue in bullet points

...it turns out I can't do bullet points on this page, so I shall letter them roman numerically.

I. Vampire's shouldn't sparkle, its not a very good hunting method after you've spent all morning hunting your bunny or vegetarian, and then the sun comes out and you stick out like a sore thumb. No. Stupid power, diamond skin! Balls to that, I don't want a testicle on my finger instead of a rock....I wonder if that's really what Edward proposed with....hmmm...

II. If you want to include others POV's then write in the third person. We're not idiots, we can follow it. Millions have before us!

III. There was unnessecary descriptions in it. We proved this by cutting the book in half and randomly rearranging the pages to write this story with.

IV. The beer mat I've written this on has more dimensions than the characters.

V. Imprinting is wrong. Fact.

VI. Rolling your head over a keyboard does not make you a writer.

VII. It's ok to give your characters hidden agendas.

VIII. Don't mess with the classics...there's a reason they are so. Unless they're Oscar Wilde, who also had a penache for descriptions.

3.Team Edward or Jacob?

Team Blade.

4.What do you think to S/m?

S/M not really for me, I find the hand cuffs break too eas-oh Stephanie MEYER....hmmmm...she's a nice lady and is very good with descriptions. She should consider a career in describing water colours to blind people.

5.What do you think of the Emo?

I love it. But then again, I helped create it and being 50% genius, was it going to be anything else?

6.How would you of ended Twilight?

Well, first off, I wouldn't have started it....but with Edward and....James, was it? anyway, that guy going Diva Style on ... well you know, you've read it already.

7.Which has been your favourite interview?

The Zombie Interview, we had a helluva lot of fun translating it. Henry helped a lot, baby talk is a lot like Zombie and he was breastfeeding at the time, so he was almost a zombie. I did not enjoy interviewing my dad. Traumatised o.O

8.Favourite chapter of the Emo?

Destiny my Gaga or Scary Stories, oh how we laughed....I hated the POV chapter, it took Daaaaays, it hurt my brain so badly and Henry hated the lack of attention. But I loved writing the Diva dance off, | had a great time.

9.Favourite character of the Emo?

The Count, no-Eduardo, NO! THE VURM! There's so many I love them alllllll.

10. What would you like to see in the Emo, the Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit part 2?

A bottle of Malibu and a squashed fairy...ohhhhh, you mean content wise....errrr more Alcohol, less descriptions. Perhaps Jacob has a flea bath and Eduardo is removed from the story, permanently. Oh, and someone to take my ideas and write them for me.