INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE WORM (Vurm)
A VAMPIRE WORM...WELL THIS IS A FIRST... HOW DID YOU BECOME A VAMPIRE WORM?
Nice to meet you too, I trust manners are optional when you have bones? And I'm not a VAMPIRE Worm; we prefer to be called Vurms. However, I digress. I first became a Vampire Worm back in Chapter Thirteen. When Eduardo sat on the first Vurm, The Glittery Night Crawler, or Star to his friends, he became squashed. Through the squishing he became two. The first Vurm escaped and thus, immersed in glitter made him the Vampire Worm, The First Vurm.
UH-HUH...AND HOW DID THE SECOND WORM-OR VURM COME ABOUT?
Well, The Glittery Night Crawler sneezed covering his former flattened self so becoming the Second Vurm...Sparkle Dew Vurm. They then spread the movement through the clearing to the Woodworm (now Voodvurm) in the surrounding trees, which then became sawdust for local petting zoos and gradually spread to Parasites (Parabites) and libraries (Bookvurm). Which is what I am, a Bookvurm that is.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT TREE NEVER MADE IT TO IKEA?
No.
SO VURM, HAVE YOU READ TWILIGHT?
I chewed through it once or twice before I was turned. The quality of the paper was great. Good quantity of pages. Tasty ink. Barely any margins. But the content was awful. I've eaten better Mills&Boon novels!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CHARACTERS?
They're about as one dimensional as the pages they're printed on.
ARE YOU TEAM JACOB OR EDWARD?
Edward. He packs more of a bite.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF STEPHANIE MEYER?
She should be introduced to the comma. But very delicious descriptions, and it helped me through a very trying school summer when I'd been abandoned in a locker for the holidays.
RIIIIGHT. AND FINALLY, THANK GOD, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE FIRST VURMS?
Well, the Glittery Night Crawler and Sparkle Dew Vurm since creating the "Vurm Movement" and turning half of America to its ways, have since started a cabaret and burlesque act. The lack of bones makes them appealing to certain clientele, and they are living it up in Rio...or so I am led to believe. Their ways have become so successful, new sects are popping up. Such as the Zombie Worm (Zurm) the Frankenstein Worm (Grurm) the Wolf Worm (Were-Wurm) and the fairy worm, a lesser known sect of the Vorm (The Poofter Wurm) Now...where's that anatomy book?
YOU ARE READING
The Emo, The Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit.
Fanfic"Your skin is... pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color... and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything; you don't go into the sunlight. I know what you are." "Go on, say it." "You're em...
