Interview Time!!
WELL DAD, HAVE YOU HEARD OF TWILIGHT?
Of course I have. It happens every day between sunset and night time. I thought you said this was going an intelligent interview.
I MEANT THE BOOK.
Why would you write a book about a sunset, awfully boring book. The sun went down, it got dark, the end. I could tell you a much better story about when I was a boy at boarding school, in Tipperary, and I stole all the keys to the building-
NO DAD, TWILIGHT'S ABOUT VAMPIRES.
You mean Count Dracula. I liked that book. Very good. Did you know that Bram Stoker is Irish, and that his mother grew up just around the corner from you.
YES DAD, I KNOW ABOUT BRAM STOKER. BUT I'M ASKING YOU ABOUT TWILIGHT VAMPIRES. THAT SPARKLE, SULK AND EAT BUNNIES.
Sounds terrible. Why do they sparkle? They should move here. Some fine bunnies down at the beach. When I was a lad, they were so tame you could catch them just by-
DAD! FOCUS! TWILIGHT'S ABOUT A GIRL WHO FALLS IN LOVE WITH A VAMPIRE AND A WEREWOLF, WHO THEN SULK FOR A GOOD THREE BOOKS UNTIL SHE FINALLY PICKS ONE. THEN HE TURNS HER. AND THEN THE WEREWOLF PERVS ON THEIR DAUGHTER.
Well, now you've given the plot away. I won't read it now, it sounds rubbish and creepy. What sort of a soppy storyline is that? Now, if you'd had one of my friends from boy scouts, Duffy the Campfire Layer that story would have been much more fiery. A very hot read that would have been. Real sparks between the characters. Eh? Eh?
YES DAD, VERY WITTY.
Hold on....a vampire's dead. How can he have a daughter? That would require them -
TMI DAD! TMI!
And just because we could, we have a second interview for you with Susan Batty I mean Beattie!
1.How did you hear of twilight?
I heard of Twilight from Stacey Jacques
2.What do you think of the Twilight book?
I think they started off well, but then became a little whiny... Ed really needs to lighten up and develop a sense of humour that dosn't involve flipping someone the bird. Bella needs to grow a spine, that’s not attached to her left testicle.
3.Team Edward or Jacob?
Team Jacob phwarrrrrrrrr - even if he does need worming and front-line every now
again....
4.What do you think to S/m?
S/M ermmmm.... some people like, the whips, chains and handcuffs, I like the fluffy ones. Holds on you mean Stephanie Meyer’s don’t you. PLEASE RETIRE!!!!!!! Pretty please
5.What do you think of the Emo?
Brilliant!! Really, hic, good . . . laughed me sober reading it =] (Stacey- doesn’t sound like it to me!)
6.How would you of ended Twilight?
Wfth a few of the Cullen’s not making ft hfnt, hfnt Ed!! There should have been a total scrap between the vulture’s and the others . . . and the eastern European vamps gettfng some sort of revenge....
7.Which has been your favourite interview?
The Vurm interview - how the hell you could translate..... That was brilliant - all the classifications of Vurm....
8.Favourite chapter of the Emo?
The game - I just can't get over Ed in a purple frilly dress and having a choice of parasols to go with it.....
9.Favourite character of the Emo?
Stella. The whole story couldn't exist without her!
10. What would you like to see in the Emo, the Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit part 2?
Erm, don't know. . . more frills? More laces? Maybe a sacrifice on the altar.... of pink fluff.
Hope that helps
xxx
YOU ARE READING
The Emo, The Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit.
Fanfic"Your skin is... pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color... and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything; you don't go into the sunlight. I know what you are." "Go on, say it." "You're em...
