exhale

too afraid

i have so many questions that i'll never get the answers to because i am too afraid to ask them.

did you really do it? it may not change things but it may help me breathe easier to know the truth, regardless of what it is.

was it real for you? i like to think that it was but there are too many whispers in my head saying otherwise.

when was the moment you realized that i was a dead end? i keep thinking about how stupid i was. i never knew you were fading away because i was too focused on my own happiness.

did you really not know? out of all of the times you said it, you had to know sometimes. you probably just didn't want to say.

do you miss me? i open up my messages and expect to talk to you, but my heart breaks a little because you probably don't want to talk to me. i shouldn't talk to you.

do you realize what you've done to me? if you were to call me up right now to ask me to come back to you, i would. you've got me wrapped around your finger without even trying.

do you regret it? if you do, it's okay. i understand. you would have been better off without me.

these are questions you will never answer because i will never ask them. i don't have the courage or the strength to ask.