exhale

write

i don't write to you.

i don't write with the intention of you reading it. i always forget you may be the only one to see.

i write because i need to say something. i need to get the thought out of my head in an attempt to push them away somehow.

i don't write to you.

if you would like, i could write you a thousand poems for each crime i've committed against you, but that's not what i set out to do. ask me anything and i could answer with words masquerading as something more profound. that's all they'll ever be though, just words.

i don't have the power to convey how i really feel through words. i wouldn't know the correct words to use.

ashamed, disgusted, hurt, annoyed, upset, horrified, astounded, embarrassed.

all of those words and any other one you'll find in a dictionary will never properly encompass how i truly feel. the best word i can come up with is sorry.

i have never been more sorry for anything in my entire life. i am sorry for everything i have done.

i'm sorry.

i don't write to you.

i don't write to you because there are no words i could type that could mend the whole i tore through us.

i'm sorry i can't write to you.