Aftermath

The Cave

Jon was lying alone inside his tent, a few days have passed since they built up their camp and they would leave soon, heading a bit deeper into the North. Everything seemed fine, except the thoughts that didn't seem to go away 'Time will heal all wounds' they say but he just couldn't believe it right now. He was aware that sitting alone in his tent wouldn't help him, but right now he just couldn't stand people since they where always asking questions he couldn't answer himself or was just to weak to do it. The only real company he had recently was his direwolf Ghost and unlike him he was more happy than ever, cause he was finally home. "Come here boy" he said to him, "You wanna leave this tent as much as I do, so what do you say?" and as he was smiling, Ghost would run towards him almost pushing him to the ground. "It's alright boy let's go" he petted him for a second before they were finally going outside.
For the first time in a while he felt some kind of happiness, just being outside with his direwolf in the snow like he used to be when things where way less complicated. "Where are you going!?" he screamed as Ghost started to run away "Ghost!!", Jon sighed and began trying to run after him. After a short chase across the snow Ghost suddenly stopped in front of, what it looked like, a cave entrance, but he began to run again shortly after. Jon's legs where hurting like hell and so he just decided to let him be 'He always comes back' he thought to himself as he noticed the entrance right next to him. His heart began to race as it reminded him of his former lovers and his eyes started to fill with tears again. Neither Ygritte nor Dany is alive anymore and he felt the biggest heartbreak that someone could possibly feel, cutting an even deeper wound inside him as he felt less and less capable to stand. Slowly he was walking towards the cave, while his heart pumped faster with every step and as he finally got in his heart stopped for a second. 'This can't be true' he thought to himself as the tears began to run down his cheeks, cause this wasn't just a cave, it was the cave he's been in a long time ago. His whole body was shaking as he headed deeper into the cave, he felt the humid air inside, he put his hand into the water seeing a mirror of himself, a mirror of the person he was back then and he began to smile as he felt the lightness of these long gone days again. But a teardrop into the water got him back into the present and brought with it the pain and heartbreak of today. He never felt more lost than right now, all the memories of better days where covered by the faces of the dead lovers in his arms and within seconds he broke down, sitting on the ground covered in tears. After Ygritte's death he thought he could never be a able to love someone again, that nothing and no one could change that, until he met Dany. Dany was the most beautiful woman he ever saw and he fell for her in the very first second, but he was trying to fight it as he didn't want to be hurt again, as he was scared to love but then lose again. But it did happen, he couldn't resist her, he couldn't resist the love that they both felt for each other and the feeling of being with her the first time was unlike anything he has ever felt. Everything seemed so perfect and it was like they could do anything together, that they would defeat anyone and that she would rule to make this world a better place, but the truth destroyed them, like she always told him. If he could've loved her, if he believed her and had faith in her they could've make it happen, he was sure of that 'My queen' he whispered to himself as the pain was pushing him more and more to the ground. He knew he could never forgive himself, he killed the love of his life even though he was the one who wanted it the least and still believed most in her, if he would ever meet those who told him that it was right again he wouldn't mind giving them the same fate as her. 'Burn them all' he said to himself 'Burn them all' ..