Heal my Heart

Chapter 18 - The Past

Blood...Blood splattered all over the floor. Sam lifted his head up. Blood all around the bed...

"Grizz...Grizz what happened, did you get a nose bleed?" he whispered the best he could. He wasn't sure Grizz had heard him from under the heavy sheets. There were so many dark colors coming from the bed... From the way the sheets moved, he knew Grizz was heavily crying under them.

"Grizz, it's gonna be okay. I'm here for you." Sam said, moving around the bed. What he discovered on the other side froze him to the core. So much blood, old pictures, a razor...

"Oh my God!"

"Grizz ! Grizz, what did you do?!" he tried to scream, picking up the blanket covering the young man.

There he found him. Eyes red from crying for so long, blank scared face and mostly...bloody wrists. He jumped on him, trying to press on his wrists with the first sheet he found.

"Oh my God, Grizz. No...Not that ! Why did you do that, Grizz?! Luke ! Luke !" he yelled as loud as he could with his broken voice.

"S...Sam...?"

"Yes, it's me, Grizz. It's gonna be alright. Don't you dare die on me !"

"Sam...Sam...I'm so sorry...I'm so..." Grizz sobbed.

"What is it, Sam?" Luke tiredly asked, before noticing the mess on the floor.

"For christ's sake, what's with all the blood ?!"

"Luke, I need you to call Kelly, right now. Tell her to come as fast as possible, this is an emergency !"

"Grizz ? What happened ? Are you okay?" Luke panicked, trying to get to his best friend.

"Luke ! Do what I tell you and get the fuck out of here !"

"O...Okay, I'll go get her !" And with that, Luke ran out of the house.

"Grizz ? Grizz, can you hear me?" Sam whispered, pulling himself together.

"Sam...Sam, I'm so sorry..."

"Yeah, I know. Why did you do that, Grizz? I know Allie forced you to..."

"No, it's not Allie...She's not the problem, I am." he whimpered.

"What ? What are you talking about?" Sam asked with so much worry in his eyes. What could be so bad this brilliant strong young man would try to kill himself for?

"It's me...I'm so disgusting, I'm so tainted...I can't taint you too, Sam. You're too pure for me to corrupt you, I can't do that to you...Me being alive is not good for you, for anyone." he whispered frantically.

"Grizz, what the fuck are you saying?! You're not tainted, you're not disgusting. Allie forced you to kill Dewey. It wasn't your fault, you had to."

"It's not just Dewey, Sam ! You don't know anything about me, you don't know how disgusting I am. You have no idea of what I've done in the past, you can't understand."

"Well, explain it to me then. Tell me, confide in me. I'm never gonna judge you, Grizz. Whatever you did in the past is not worth you hurting yourself like that !"

"No, I can't tell you, I can't. You're too good for me Sam, I won't put you through all that. I'm not worth it...I should just die, it's best for everybody."

"Grizz, please. It hurts me so much to see you like that and not be able to do anything to help you...I know you can relate, you know how bad it is to see someone you love hurting. Let me do this for you. Let me in, Grizz. I don't just want to know the good parts of your life. I'm here for you, for the good and the bad."