Heal my Heart

Chapter 33 - Setback

"I don't wanna go out there."

Grizz stood frozen in front of his bedroom's door.

"Why is that so, love?" Sam signed slowly to him.

"I can't go out there. Not after the trial, not after everything." He said, shaking his head.

"Come on, Grizz, everything's gonna be fine. There's nothing to be afraid of now, the whole town recognized Campbell as the one hurting you, they don't judge you."

"You don't understand, Sam...Right here with you, I'm a strong young cherished man but once I step outside, I suddenly become an outcast, the poor little beaten child. I can't stand people pitying me, I'm sick of it. I don't want them to see me as someone weak or vulnerable. I know that they don't judge me, it's just...Now that everybody knows the whole truth, I'm kinda ashamed and embarrassed." he whispered the end.

"Honey, look at me" he lifted his chin up.

"Look at me. If you feel strong and cherished here, then you're gonna be the exact same strong and cherished man out there, period. People love you, Grizz. You're doing so much for this town. They don't wanna pity you, they're just worried about you. Just as I am. Have you ever felt like I pitied you and saw you as a poor beaten child?"

"No, never..."

"Then there's no reason for you to feel that towards them. It's gonna be fine, maybe it's even for the best. People are finally gonna see how hard you're working and how wonderful you truly are. You're nothing near weak, Grizz, and everybody knows it. With everything you've gone through, any weak boy would have just given up. You didn't. You never did and everybody understands that. It's even the opposite from what you think, people knowing about your past is just another way for them to see how strong you are. Trust me, trust yourself and trust them. We're in this together, we won't let you down, love."

"What if it's the other way around and that people just think I deserved it or that I liked it cause I'm gay. What if they judge me cause I love a man, I don't..."

"Grizz. Stop freaking out. I love you, I'm here with you and I promise you everything's gonna be fine."

"Thank you, hun. What would I do without you, huh?" he said cheerfully.

"Actually, probably make out with Luke or something." he laughed.

"Wha?! No!" they giggled together before exchanging a loving kiss.

Grizz was amazed by Sam's facility to make him smile when just a few minutes before he could have cried from stress and anxiety. His words always found their way to his heart and reassured him deeply. But it was his kisses that gave him the power he needed to go on.

When they went downstairs, Allie and Luke were chatting in the living room. The day before, they had planned Campbell power's removal with Erika while he rested. He felt so useless but knew that he needed this time to compose himself.

"Hey guys, we were about to head to church to announce Campbell's punishment, you coming with us?" Allie asked.

"Yeah, just let me grab some coffee." Grizz answered in a neutral way.

He really didn't want to see Campbell right now, but he knew running away from the matter would only make him worst. He took a deep breath and refused to be hurt by his previous words, knowing that if fear made it to his mind, the bastard would have won in the end.

"Let's go."

"Faggot!"

When Grizz heard the insult, he didn't recognize Campbell's hoarse voice. He turned around and suddenly felt a small slap on top of his head. A group of random guys passed behind him on bikes, laughing and congratulating the one who insulted him. Grizz was astonished. He stopped in his tracks, making Sam notice that something had happened.