Solangelo One Shots

I Grow for You, You Grow for Me(p4)

Nico's POV

The grass stands up straight underneath his back, pushing him up just a fraction of an inch as he lays on the hill with Will's hand in his. When Nico glances into Will's eyes the night sky is reflected in his pupils, a million tiny stars shimmering like glitter. There's a light blush on his cheeks; the late August night is colder than most, and Nico scoots closer to Will, their shoulders touching. His muscles are relaxed and he's breathing easier than he has in months but still, there's a weight pressing down on his chest that's growing heavier as they lie in silence, listening to the crickets in the woods. "Something wrong?" Will asks, turning to face Nico. There's a blade of grass stuck to his cheek and Nico brushes it off, watching as it flutters to the ground. When it's gone, Nico's hand is left lingering on Will's cheek, the soft warmth of his face underneath his skin. 

"No," Nico says quietly, unconvincingly. Not even meaning to he glances at the ground on his other side, the side away from Will, and Will frowns, giving Nico's hand a squeeze. Nico takes a deep breath, blowing it up to the sky. 

"You sure?" Nico sighs, avoiding Will's eyes as they try to meet his. 

"No," he says with a small smile that's more like a wince. 

"You wanna talk about it?" Will is clearly trying to make eye contact at this point but Nico is still staring at the ground, watching a line of ants march back to their hill. They weave through the blades of grass, tiny feet stomping like soldiers, and Nico doesn't open his mouth until they've all slipped back into the ground, one by one. 

"No," he says after a long period of quiet. Will laughs softly, kissing Nico's cheek softly. His lips are warm and Nico shifts, trying not to smile. 

"Come on, really? All this time spent together, and you still don't trust me?" 

"That's not-" he sighs, watching an ant dart out of the hill before diving back inside just as quickly as it had come out. "You know that's not true." 

"Feels pretty true." Nico winces, his stomach hardening underneath his skin. 

"Sorry." He shakes his head, massaging the growing headache in between his eyes. "It's just- I know I'm being irrational, but I can't help but worry. You're leaving tomorrow, and we're not gonna see each other for a really long time." He scratches at his arm until his nail has brought up a thin, white line. He doesn't know what to do but when he looks at Will he's smiling, fighting back a laugh. "What?" 

"Nothing." He shakes his head, his fingers drumming against the back of Nico's hand. "It's just almost funny that after everything we've been through, you think it would be a little bit of distance that would break us apart." Nico chews on his lip, flinching as he accidentally draws blood. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Will frown. "It's not just the distance, is it?" 

"No." Nico's voice is quiet in the darkness of the night and the crickets sound ten times louder than before. "When you leave, you're not gonna, you know, do anything with anyone else, right?" The words sound dumb coming out of mouth and next to him, he hears Will laugh. "Sorry. I mean, I know you wouldn't, and I know you're amazing, but I'm still irrationally scared." 

"Hey, I get it." He kisses Nico's cheek again and Nico smiles, blushing hard. "You think that I'm a shitty boyfriend and I'm gonna cheat on you the first chance I get with some tall, muscular, blond football player named Chad." Nico slaps him lightly on the arm, his blush deepening as he avoids Will's eyes. 

"That's not what I said," he says, squirming gently as Will wraps his arms around Nico's shoulders. "I love you, and I trust you, but I'm still scared. I don't know why." 

"I do get it, though, really." Will's voice is quieter and they listen to the crickets around them, and in Will's arms, Nico feels as if it's the two of them alone amid a sea of blackness. He can barely feel the blades of grass brushing at his arms anymore, and the faint breeze is gone. The night is clear but the moon is gone and, he has to admit, it scares him a little bit, the sensation of floating. "You've had bad relationships in the past. But I promise you, I'm not one of them." He hugs Nico's body closer to his, planting a kiss on the top of his head. Nico lets himself sink into Will's chest and he traces his finger along Will's tan arm, feeling the soft hair underneath his skin. He can just barely make out a splotch of freckles in the darkness, like a tiny constellation in the vast universe that is his body. His finger lingers on it, and he runs his tongue across his upper row of teeth as he tries to think of an answer.