Secrets our hearts hide

8

Regina arrived at her office later that day. She had been teaching all day with barely any break. She unlocked her office door and walked in. Feeling something under her foot. Her gaze traveled down to see a book. She lifted it up and turned it over to see the front cover.

"Carrie?" Regina questioned as she smiled at the book. She hasn't read it in years. She never had time when josh was always around. Regina opened the book and saw the note. "I remembered it was your favourite. Hope this cheers you up... Emma?" Regina was shocked to see Emma's name.

She walked into her office and closed her door. She went to her desk before sitting down and opening the book. Forgetting all her work she had to do and all the planning for lessons she had to make. She started reading. It took her less than two hours before the whole thing was read. Regina was such a fast reader since she had been constantly reading for years. She smiled as she put it down. Regina stood up seeing the time was 4:56. She walked out of her office locking it behind her.

"Professor mills" a boy said from behind her. Regina turned around and knew exactly who it was. It was the boy who made a scene in her classes earlier that day. Regina sighed and turned to face him. "It's me from earlier" he said approaching her.

"I know. What is your name" Regina asked not remembering it at all.

"Archie" he shyly replied as his eyes met her intimidating ones.

"Well Archie what can I help you with" Regina asked politely since she is a teacher and has to be.

"I want back in the class. Please. You were right. I just wanted to impress Rachel because she has never noticed me before or even spoken to me. Come on professor Mills. You know what it's like trying to impress a girl" he begged looking at her and showing he meant it.

"Archie everyone is told that if you choose my class and get in then you are there to learn. Not flirt. Come back to me next Monday and I'll let you know" Regina sternly said before turning around and walking away.

She left the building and got a taxi to the bar. She payed the man before getting out. Regina walked to the door and went inside. Seeing Emma stood behind the bar wiping the side. Her back was to Regina. The brunette walked over to the bar and sat down. She coughed softly to get Emma's attention.

"Hi. What can I get you" the blonde asked turning around. She saw Regina and smiled that she was there. "I'm glad you took me up on this offer" Emma said leaning against the bar and smirking at her.

"Thank you for the book. I love it. I read it before I came here" Regina said smiling up at the blonde girl.

"Your welcome. I'm glad you liked it. Now will you finally tell me what's up" Emma asked wiping down the side of the bar.

"First I need a drink. You got any old scotch here" Regina asked with a chuckle as she sat forward and let her thoughts go.

"Yeah. Didn't have you down for a scotch drink. Our oldest is 1979 scotch. Is that alright" Emma asked lifting the bottle up and a glass.

"Sounds good. Let me buy you a drink as well. It's the least I can do" Regina replied smiling softly at the sweet blonde in front.

"Thanks. I'll join you with a scotch. Never had one before" Emma replied pouring two glasses of scotch. She placed one in front of Regina and kept the other in her hand. Emma took a mouthful and swallowed a little before spitting the rest back in the glass. "Ow that's foul" she said making Regina laugh properly for the first time in awhile.

"This is dam good scotch. Might be my favourite. How can you not like it" Regina asked still laughing her head off.

"Not funny. Anyway you said you'd talk" Emma said pouring the drink down the sink.

"You won't like what I have to say. It's not a happy story about my divorce" Regina warned before taking a mouthful of her scotch.

"I can handle it. Come on Mills. Pour your sweet little heart out to the bartender like they do in all movies" Emma said wiping the side with a chuckle at Regina.

That's when Regina knew. She knew she could trust Emma. She knew that this girl would listen and not judge her or hurt her. That's the moment Regina knew Emma was going to be apart of her life in some way.

"Fine. His name was josh. We got married when I was 19 thinking we're in love. We were married for 4 years and trying for a baby for 2" Regina started as she stared into the glass she held in her hand.

"Your 23?" Emma asked a little shocked.

"That's your question" Regina asked with a chuckle of confusion.

"Sorry. You look younger but act older" Emma replied making herself a little confused.

"Well as I was saying. We were trying for a baby. I've always wanted children. I dreamed as a girl to have a family. I didn't care if it was big or small. I just wanted one. After awhile of trying I thought I got pregnant. The picture you found in my desk was when I thought I was. I wasn't" Regina replied still looking in her glass a little upset at the thought of this.

"I'm sorry. That must have been hard on you knowing how much you wanted a child" Emma softly said seeing Regina had stopped to take a mouthful of her drink.

"It was. We kept trying but it wouldn't happened. It then got to another time when I thought I was pregnant. Me and josh were so happy. I went to the doctor to check since last time I wasn't. She tested me to see if I was. Since I'm sat here drinking now you can guess I'm not. I found out that day... I can't ever have children" Regina admits as tears came to her eyes and she looked up at Emma.

"Ow my god. Regina" Emma says shocked. Regina took another mouthful finishing her drink. Emma walked around the bar so she could hug Regina tight. "I'm so sorry Regina" she said holding her close.

Regina wasn't a hugger. She barely done it. This was unexcepted. She hugged Emma back and let a single tear fall. They kept closer for a few seconds before pulling away. Regina wiped her tear away as she did. Emma sat down in front of her and held her hand to comfort her.

"That's one of the things that broke my heart. Josh loved the idea of having children as well. I told him I wasn't pregnant and he wasn't happy. When I told him I can't ever get pregnant he flipped out. Telling me it's my fault and I'm the reason for all of this. He said me being snobby and stuck up caused it. He blamed me for not being able to have child" Regina said letting a few more tears leave her eyes and looking down to hide it.

"It's not your fault. It's no ones fault. Regina there's so many ways to have a baby. Don't let this stop you" Emma said cupping her cheek and wiping her tears away.

"I can't help feeling it is because of him. I looked him in the eyes and asked if he still loved me. He shook his head and said no. I can't love a woman who can't give me a family" Regina finally said out loud and letting all her pain fall out a tear drop at a time.

Emma slipped her arms around Regina and pulled her into a hug again. The blonde held her close knowing Regina has broken. The brunette girl sobbed in Emma's arms and gripped her too tight to hold her there. Emma planted a single kiss on the side of Regina's head to sooth her.

"It's not your fault" Emma softly whispered into the ear of the crying brunette.