Past, Present & Future

14

Nightmares had been there with me, haunting me for years now. Every time I closed my eyes, they were there, waiting for me to break down, to relive those dreaded moments over and over again; I don't know what I did to deserve this, maybe someone cursed me or maybe it was my own doing. Me blaming myself, making myself pay for all the sins I have committed, making myself pay for surviving while the others died. Maybe it was me trying to tell myself to give up. Whatever it was, I wanted it to stop. I wanted it to go away so I could pretend nothing ever happened and that I was just another girl wanting to live her life and not someone who saw so much death and destruction. I wanted to pretend that I was okay even though I knew I was not and I was never going to be.

But people couldn't know that – if they knew, they would take advantage of your weakness as that was how humanity was; nothing could change that. So, all I had to do was put up a mask, a façade of strength so no one could question what was actually going on. I just had to pretend a little longer, pretend that nothing mattered, pretend that I didn't care and maybe if I pretended long enough, I would start believing it myself.

For a while, I floated in the darkness, completely numb to my surroundings – I was dreaming and I didn't want to get up yet my wishes never did come true and soon enough I was coming back to consciousness – and pain. Prying open my eyes, I saw the familiar ceiling that I woke up to just yesterday – I was once again in the Boarding House. This time not drunk.

Just like last time, I tried to sneak away and just like last time it did not work – I was stopped by the exact same person, but what differed was his facial expression. Damon didn't have his usual smug smirk, actually, he looked rather confused and almost concerned. "And where do you think you are going?" He asked and I felt a bit bewildered by his attitude. Ever since I have known him, not once did I seem him this disturbed. "I'm going to be leaving now, so if you would excuse me."

I tried walking past him and through the door that he was blocking but he did not move an inch. "Can you just move!"

"Well witchy, I will be happy to move once you answer my question." His irritatingly smug smile was back as if it was never gone and I let out a breath. It was just one question anyways. "Fine then. What is it that you so desperately need to know?" Nothing came from his mouth as he stared at me and I rolled my eyes. "Go on then."

"Okay, so I gave you some of my blood for you to heal since you were basically dying but it didn't work properly. It stopped some of the bleeding but the wound didn't heal properly." He trailed of as if expecting me to know what he was hinting at. I knew that vampire blood couldn't heal me – nothing magical could ever heal me properly; all due to that evil witch. "So?"

"Well, since it wasn't healing I had to bandage it up. I saw – I saw the scars. What happened?" He asked slowly.

"No. You don't get to ask me that question, Damon. Actually, how even dare you ask me that question? None of this is your business so you better leave it alone." I stated darkly as his blue eyes stared into mine. "Don't even look at me like that. I don't want your useless pity."

"Look, witchy, I apart from that I wanted to say that..." He took a deep breah, scrunching up his face. "Sometimes I do things that I don't have to do, like killing Mason."

"What was that supposed to be? An apology?" I questioned and he slowly nodded as if even admitting that was painful to do. "Is that meant to help me get over the mental trauma his death caused me?" He nodded again. "Well then thank you for the thought – I don't forgive you but I appreciate it that you at least tried." I said.

With nothing left to say, he left the room, locking the door behind him leaving me stranded inside. He thought that I would try to escape, saying that I would not be safe when I was still hurt like that. At the moment, I much preferred the annoying and rude Damon rather than this protective one. I didn't even understand what was wrong with him and why he was acting like that – we were after all enemies before and from what I have seen he did not trust anyone outside his little circle which I didn't belong to.

I felt constricted in this room – it wasn't small, it was actually quite spacious with a big window and a massive bed but I wanted to leave. The woods just outside looked so much more inviting than the house at the moment, calling me. I opened the window letting some fresh air inside before looking at the vast nature.

Before I knew it, I was concentrating, morphing my body into my Animagus form. It made me feel free, free from my problems, at least for a while. It also numbed the pain – my shoulder barely hurting as I jumped out of the window with ease, running into the forest where no one would think to follow me. I still remember the day I turned the first time – it was a bright moment in an age of darkness and it was so hard to believe how I was then able to turn into such a creature at will.

I looked out of place in the darkness of the trees, my white fur sticking out like a sore thumb yet that didn't matter. Nobody was out here to see me anyways. I never thought that I would end up being a wolf – I was expecting a smaller creature, weaker but I was pleasantly surprised with the pale furred, hazel eyed creature.

All the bad thoughts slipped away as the only thing I focused on was the wind in my face and the ground beneath my paws as I ran at speeds that I could have never even wished of as a human. I didn't know where I was going but the destination didn't particularly matter anyways.

The sun had already lowered making the forest even darker than it was before and I didn't realise how far in I had gone before I actually had to go back to the Boarding House.

There was blood – it smelled like the whole house was drenched in it and I already knew the Salvatores got themselves into trouble again. It was like a whole new problem arose with them each day and having a peaceful moment was almost impossible.

I heard Jules and her werewolf gang – I also heard Damon grunting. They were talking about the moonstone, something we weren't in the possession of. At first they didn't notice me (which was surprising because I was quite big and one wouldn't expect seeing a wolf like this inside a house) and kept on torturing Damon with some kind of collar torture device. Alaric was dead on the flood, his eyes still open and a wound on his stomach.

Seeing Jules again only made me angrier, the feelings of peace now long gone. I stood by the entrance to the room, letting out a low growl. Slowly, one by one, all of the eyes turned to me. None of them moved a muscle and I chose the closest werewolf which was to my right and bit him in the neck. "Is that a werewolf? Werewolves can't turn without a full moon!" Jules exclaimed in fright, looking for anyone weapon to use against me.

After the man I bit fell unconscious, the rest ran at me, ready to avenge their friend but this time, I didn't go down so easily.

Everyone stopped in their tracks when another figure appeared. Just like they always did.

Elijah walked gracefully down the steps, holding the moonstone in his hand before putting it on the counter near the werewolves. He scanned the room, seeing all the different people that remained there however his eyes stayed at me for a few moments longer (which was not surprising whatsoever). His eyebrows were raised but he never commented.

"Go ahead. Take it." He motioned to the moonstone with a light voice as if challenging them to actually try it. The first one went and he was down in less than a second, his heart on the floor and the moonstone not even touched. The same happened with the next two, both of their bodies now on the bloodied floor. However, the last werewolf of the bunch, Jules, was nowhere to be seen having already slipped away before anyone could notice.

I ran after her, refusing to let her get away again. I ran and ran and tried to track her by her scent but I had begun going in circles – she got away once again. Now, I could do nothing more than howl in anger and frustration .