31 days in MAY

Enough

Self-doubt pours outs of me,
Like the lyrics of a pop song.
A little of tune,
Overplayed,
Over sung
And with every word in me.

I question my sufficiency.
Feeling like a elastic band
Being pulled
So to break.
Feeling like the wrong shape
For a mould I'm bound to live in.
Feeling like
I am simply
Not
Enough.

It is sad
When you ask yourself
To be more.
More than you can manage,
More than you can give.
Pushing limits
Like refreshing future says.

How can I say
I am enough.
I don't feel like I am.
I cannot manage all of this
On my own.
On my own.
Why am I bound to believe
I must face it all alone.
I have support,
I have help.
But it means nothing
Less the success is mine?

It feels strange.
But somehow makes sense.
Like a need to set yourself
As a singular person
With your own identity.
But still unimpressive.

If only,
I could be myself
And nothing else.
But that wouldn't get things done.
I would love in a house
With a broken AC,
A dozen throw pillows
And bed that's too small.
All because I didn't ask for help.
I couldn't ask for help.
I thought I was supposed to already know
All these answers.

But I didn't.
But I don't.
To grow
Is to learn,
Is to ask questions,
Ask for help,
Ask
And learn.

You are enough.
Because nobody
Is meant to do everything.

You are meant
For things you do not realize.
It is okay if you cannot fix a leaking pipe.
But you must know how to ask
For help.

~A