Colby Brocks Housekeeper

Chapter #66

It was later in the night and Colby and I had put Ninava to bed. We were just watching some TV, when my stomach started to twist and turn again. I knew what was coming so I ran to the bathroom and bent over the toilet. All that came out was liquid because I haden't eaten anything in awhile. When I finished I threw my body down and leaned on the wall. I put my head in my hands and started to sob. I was letting out all the emotion I had bottled up since the doctor told me I had cancer. Colby came running to the bathroom and saw me. He sighed and slid down onto the floor next to me. He snaked his arm around me and I fell into his chest. He stayed quiet while rubbing my back and playing with me hair. He knew I loved it when he did this.

"I'm so sorry that you don't feel well." He finally said. I started to sob hard remembering that I haden't told him that I had cancer.

"Hey. Shh. It'll be okay." He said trying to comfort me. But I knew. I knew nothing was going to be alright.

"No it won't." I croaked.

"What?" Colby asked me.

"Nothing is going to be okay! Nothing! How could it be!?" I said sitting up. Colby had a confused look on his face.

"Babe, it's just a flu." He said. I shook my head.

"No it's not! I lied! I dont have a flu!" I said. Colby seemed shocked.

"Okay. Well then what do you have?" He asked. I took a breath calming down. When I sighed I tilted my head to the side. I knew my face was tomato red and my eyes were super puffy. Tear marks all down my face. As a few more tears escaped my eyes I decided I needed to tell him.

"Colby I-" I paused and he looked at me.

"You what?" He asked with concern lacing his voice.

"I have cancer." I blurted out. Colby's face fell. She shook his head.

"No you don't. You're lying. Right?" He paused for awhile before asking right. I gave him a sad smile and shook my head.

"I really really wish I was. I have pancreas cancer." I said. Colby's eyes filled with tears and they began to fall and roll down his cheeks.

"Okay. Well, what can we do?" He asked. I sighed.

"The doctor said I could do treatment but he was honest with me. Colby, pancreas cancer is very rare and the chances of surviving are very slim. Even with all the treatments." I told him what the doctor told me. More tears fell from his eyes. He started to shake his head rapidly.

"Well, then you'll just have to be special." He said his voice cracking.

"Colby, I don't think that's how it works."

"Well it's just gonna have to be how it works!" Colby raised his voice. He was basically yelling. I was shocked. Colby never raised his voice unless it was needed. He realized what he did. His face softened.

"I can't lose you, Nancy. I just can't." He said basically a whisper. He let his head fall and I could hear quiet sobs come from him. I sighed. I put my finger under his chin and made him look at me. His eyes were huge with puffiness and super red.

"Oh, Bub. I know. I'm so sorry." I whispered back to him while stroking his cheek with my thumb.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked. I shrugged.

"That you have to experience the pain I had to. It sucks to see the person you live suffer. I know. I'm so sorry that you have to go through it." I said. Colby shook his head.

"But you're the one with cancer. You're the one suffering. You shouldn't be sorry. I should be the one saying sorry to you." He said sounding ashamed of his behavior.

"Colby, the reality is that I'm not going to survive this. It's just not likely. I'm going to go and you are going to have to keep moving forward." I said.

"No. I can't. I can't keep going forward without you." Colby shook his head again.

"You have to. For your family, your fans, the boys. For Ninava. For me. You still have so much life to live. I'm not gonna be around to help Ninava grow, Colby. And that sucks. It sucks for me, for you, and for her. You are gonna have a big job. You'll have to do all the things that I'm not gonna be able to do. Watch her go through school, watch her get her first boyfriend, go to prom, graduate highschool, graduate college. Cause she is going to college. Watch her get married, only to the best guy for her, and walk her down the isle. Have your first grand baby. Everything, Colby. We can't both leave her. I don't want to, trust me, but I have no choice in this. I'm so sorry that all of this is going to be put on you. It's unfair. Also, when I go, please don't get hung up on me. Move on, Colby. Find another one to love and make sure that she loves Ninava too. Please don't hurt for your whole life. I don't want that." I spilled to him. He couldn't leave with me. He needed to stay. He needed to love someone else. He couldn't get hung up on me when I left.

"Are you going to do the treatments they offer?" He asked wiping his eyes when really there was no point.

"No. I don't want to spend whatever time I have left being hooked up to machines and having tests ran when nothing is going to get better. I'd rather spend it with you and all the others I love." I said. Colby nodded his head understanding my wish.

"How are you going to tell the guys? They are gonna be heartbroken." He said. I chuckled.

"Yeah, but if I just calmed you down then I can calm anyone down." I said. He chuckled.

"I love you so much, Colby." I said. He smiled

"That much." He said holding up our sign. I smiled.
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I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! If you did please leave a vote and comment! Thanks so much for reading! Peace out!