When The Ex Meets

25. "Moon..."

Warning: MATURE CONTENT

Ryan's POV

"Marry me, Moon."

As those three words that held so much hope in them, escaped my lips, she went still.

Her hands that were earlier stroking my hair in a comforting manner, holding the back of my head, froze in its movement. I could sense that she even held her breathe.

She just went all still.

Like the coward I was, vulnerably I cuddled my face further into her lap. Further away to look at her face. Too coward to face her response right at this moment.

The silence that fell between us wasn't comforting like earlier, it became suffocating, to a point that I felt certain about her rejection.

I held her closer, keeping my face onto her lap and pulling my body near to the edge of the couch, on which she was sitting. The rest of my living room was dimly lit, making the atmosphere gloomier.

Finally I hear her speak; breaking the ice between us, "Ryan..." she hardly whispers but soon trails off.

My heart pangs. I shake my head, still not daring to look at her, "Please, just don't say no."

Her hands around me tightened, as if she's holding something back. "Ryan." This time her voice comes out a little more firm.

I shake my head hastily, fear taking the most of me. Fear of losing her. "Don't say no. Just don't say anything."

"Ryan." Her voice comes out louder in contrast to the rest of my dead silent house, "Look at me, will you?"

She pushes my head off her lap, only to come kneeling down off the couch, in front of me.

She takes my face in between her both hands and I take a quick note on how small, soft and warm her hands were against my face.

She inches closer to me to examine my face, hunting for my eyes. I finally look up to the pair of those dark brown eyes that had always held my world together ever from the first time I met them and I could see tears building in them.

My own eyes sting as tears threatened to come out. "I screwed up again, didn't I?" my voice surprises me as it comes out so raw and stitched with fear.

Her lips press into a thin line as she momentarily closes her eyes and she shakes her head lightly, "It's not you. It's me this time."

I reflexively held her hands that were on my cheeks, making their hold on me firm. "You don't say that."

"You know that's true." Her voice sounds as if she's broken and too tired for this, "If it wasn't for me being so useless in front of Bincy, you know, we wouldn't have to be like this right now."

Moon, you're not useless. You're brave. Really brave to stand strong like this. It's me who's useless.

"You know right, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be in that situation in the first place." The knot in my throat makes it harder and harder for me to speak.

I could see Moon visually taken back.

Oh Moon, what were you expecting? I won't know about this?

I recall Avni telling me the whole story about how Bincy blackmailed Moon using my fame at sake; how she gave in with all of Bincy's torture because she didn't want to spoil my name.

If only you knew better Moon. If only you knew that all these position, name, fame or whatsoever are meaningless without you by my side. How could you choose those over your own safety?