Tumblr girls (camren)

Chapter 8

It is something that can’t be described really, how alone she feels and how much she just wants to curl up into an unbreakable ball and cry out all of her pain and suffering.

Nobody understands her grief, nobody understands the thoughts and the visions that play on her mind continuously and it sucks to know that there is a possibility that nobody ever will.

She isolates herself from the world, from everybody that she thinks may hurt her because she honestly can’t put herself through any more pain than she has already experienced.

She knows that if she allows herself to open up to certain people, it would backfire and they will end up leaving her just like everybody else does.

It hurts to know that not everybody is going to stick with her and help her get over her painful memories but it is also something that she has learnt to deal with because there is nothing that she can do to change it.

She has told herself frequently that she has to completely trust the person before opening up to them but to be truthful, that isn’t hard for her because the only people that have even bothered to get to know her is Lauren and Dinah.

Not having people there for her has made her independence higher than most people her age, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy to not have anybody to talk to and anybody to look out for her because that is the furthest thing from the truth. 

Camila sits on the edge of her bed, thinking over her life and how it went from a perfect fairy-tale to a complete nightmare uncontrollably.

She couldn’t stop it from happening, she had no control over her fathers mind to stop him from leaving or her mothers health and depression to stop her from killing herself. You would think that going through these experiences would make her into a stronger person, but in reality she feels as though she is about to break at any moment.

I hate feeling like this.

I hate these stupid people that think they can control me.

I hate this fucking house.

I hate that I wasn’t enough for them.

I fucking hate everything.

Her anger and thoughts become too much for her to handle and before she knows it, she is punching the wall beside her repeatedly.

“FUCK YOU” she screams loudly at her knuckles that begin to bleed deeply although that doesn’t stop her punches, it only speeds them up and makes them become harder.

Tears are rapidly streaming down her cheeks and splashing onto her clothes but she doesn’t bother to wipe them as she is too caught up in releasing all of the anger that has been building up inside of her throughout the past 6 years.

It isn’t long before her bedroom door is busted open and her adoptive parents appear to see what the banging is.

They look at each other equally shocked at the teenagers outburst but then smirk and give each other a knowing look, happy that she has reached her explosion point.

Hopefully she gives them a valid reason to send her back to that home where they got her from after all of these years of her uselessly hanging around their home and taking away their quality time with their little girl Sofia.