Lost Love

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

{Ryan}

I stand by myself in my now empty house. 

What did I just do? Taylor is dating Logan, and I know that! I know she's happy with him, and that's all I ever want her to be. So why the HELL did I kiss her? What was I thinking? 

I know I’m in love with her, but I want her to be happy, and I know Logan makes her happy. And I need to respect that!

I hit the wall with my fist, getting angry at myself. 

“What the hell did I just do?” I scream out loud, my own voice echoing in the house. 

I sit back down at the table and burry my head in my hands. I just screwed up everything. I just made everything worse than it is. I always do this. I mess up everything.

I don’t even know why I kissed her.

I just looked deep into her brown  eyes, and I couldn’t help myself. I needed to. I forgot about everything. I just couldn’t control myself. 

But why had she let me kiss her?

I don't even know what to think anymore. I can’t even begin to understand the damage that I have just done.

{Taylor}

This night has been all such a blur. I can’t even concentrate even more. I don’t know what’s going on in my life.

I get home at around 9:30 PM, and head straight to bed. I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, petrified with my life.

I have just cheated on Logan, the boy of my dreams, with Ryan, the boy I have known my entire life.

I cheated on Logan. I cheated on Logan. I cheated on Logan.

The Earth is a cold, dark place.

My mind starts to repeat that over and over again.

I start crying again. I burry myself under the covers, and just ball my eyes out.

The Earth is a cold, dark place, the Earth is a cold, dark place, the Earth is a cold, dark place.

I can’t keep this a secret. I can’t live with this. I can’t live and love Logan like I have recently without him knowing. I can’t live with a lie.

Why the fuck would Ryan even do that? That’s just not even him! He’s never liked me, what the Hell just happened!?

I don’t even know what to think anymore.

Honestly, I’m so mentally frustrated right now.

I look at the picture of Logan and I on my night table. The tears hit even heavier. What did Logan ever do to me? Why the Hell had I just done that?

I don’t know what to think.

The next week was a living Hell. 

I haven’t slept well in a week. It’s fucking horrible.

My brain is mentally exhausted, as it’s been running marathons ever since Ryan kissed me. The only thing it’s been able to clearly think and know is that the Earth is a cold, dark place.

It’s Wednesday, June 11. It’s currently 5:00 PM.

I haven’t talked to either Logan or Ryan in exactly one week. 

Logan has texted me and called me every single day, over five times an hour. He’s worried sick. 

It’s so unfair of me. I’ve just disappeared, without explanation to Logan. He’s probably been looking for me, wondering where I am, but I don’t have the strength to face him. I can’t talk to him, not after what I’ve done.