BEING HALSEY

CHAPTER 7

Songs for this chapter:

Have you- Anne Marie { My Fave}😭

Into You- Ariana Grande

I push Tray on the floor behind my bed and jump in.

The door opens.

" Honey, are you all right?

" Yes Dad. Why?"

"Are you sure you're okay? I thought I heard something."

" What's that? Something?"

He takes two steps inside.

" You were so distant at dinner and then when you cut yourself....I'm worried."

"I'm fine, Dad. Nothing to worry about."

He pauses like he's thinking.

"Good night. I love you."

"Love you, too."

And he's almost gone when . . .

"Why is your window open?"

"Oh. Wow. I must have been more tired I forgot to close it."

He tries to walk towards it but I jump so fast and block him.

" Just let it be dad. It's a little hot in here."

I fan myself with my hands and pretend to wipe sweat from my forehead.

Nate frowns. "I'm worried about you, Hal. You haven't been yourself lately."

I really don't want to have this conversation in front of Tray.

"Dad..."

"Is it Tray? You turned strange when you saw him tonight and I didn't mean to embarrass you when I said....."

PLEASE STOP TALKING.

" Dad, it's fine. I'm fine."

He sighs. "Okay. But close that window when you feel a little better."

He kisses my forehead and leaves.

Tray waits until the footsteps hit the landing below. His head pops up beside my own and even though I know he's there it makes me jump.

"My dad was talking about . . ." I struggle for a reasonable answer.

"I saw you come home and it was at the same time Dad was telling me about this awful horror movie. I must have been making a terrible face."

I hate myself.

He's quiet.

"So . . . now what?" I ask.

Tray turns away from me. He leans his back against the side of my bed. "If you want me to go, I will."

Sadness....Desire.... Anger....

I stare at the back of his head and it's like the oxygen has disappeared from my room. My heart has turned to water.

I'm drowning.

"No," I whisper at last. "You just got here."

I want to touch him again. I have to touch him again. If I don't touch him again, I'll die. I reach toward his hair. He won't even notice. But just as my fingertips are about to make contact, he turns around.

And his head jerks backward as I nearly poke out an eye.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" I whisper.

"What are you doing?" But he grins as he tries to poke out mine. I grab his finger and then just like that, I'm holding on to him.