BEING HALSEY

CHAPTER 51

Tray is making arrangements for our flights as I call Polly. She screams so loud I have to hold my phone away from my head. She informs me that Pip was having a hard time delivering her puppies ( I'm so happy, she has puppies now) and that they rushed her to a doctor and she's fine. She also tells me that they were just worried cause both Tray and I had our phones off. I tell her we're fine and we're on our back.

The car ride to the airport is long. The sky is sunny but the car is dark. We hold hands and don’t let go. We're grasping, like we’re trying to hold on to something that’s slipping away.

“I want you to know that I love you,” Tray says. “And I want to be with you. No matter what happens.”

My eyes fill back with tears.

“Don’t say that.”

“It might happen.”

“ No, It won't.”

He's about to have a breakdown.

" This is all my fault. This whole vacation thing was my idea."

He's breathing too fast.

“Hey," I wrap my arms around him and place my head against his chest. “I wanted to go, It was my decision too.”

He clings to me. His fingers grip my shoulders so hard, it hurts.

“I love you, okay?" I say quietly.

His heart rate slows.

He pulls back and meets my gaze. I hold it steady. He stares at me, looking inside of me. Then he kisses me with more passion than he’s ever kissed me with before.

•••••

Tray holds my hand tight as he opens the front door.

Dad is seated on the couch. A mug of steaming coffee sits right beside him.

Should I say hi first?

The room is silent.

" You're back." Dad says and my eyes drop to the floor. Tray stands partially in front of me, shielding me.

“I’m sorry. We didn't mean to disobey you, we---”

" Do you realize she's seventeen." He continues.

My eyes grow wide, I can't believe dad just blurted that infront of Tray. Tray immediately let's go of my hand and I gasp.

" Go to your room young lady and Tray," He stands up from his seat and opens the door. " You should leave."

I look up at Tray and his eyes have grown dark with anger. I try touching his fingers but he moves his hand away. My ribcage is compressing my heart into a tiny, painful stone. He walks away and he's gone. I'm rigid with silence.

Dad sighs.

" Your room." He points the stairs and I grab my heavy bags and walk silently. It's perfectly clear that Tray and I won't be seeing each other anytime soon, but that doesn't stop me from checking my phone for texts every two seconds. I even put it on full volume so I can hear the message notification metres away.

Tray must be hating me right now. I was going to tell him but everything was just going perfect and I let it slip out of my mind.

I hate myself.

But then again I was never going to tell him anything so I should probably stop lying.

My phone buzzes and I lung for it quickly.

It's a text from Polly.

*Bored groan.*

You guys back?

***
yea.
***
Are you okay?
***
NO!
***

It doesn't take long before I hear voices downstairs and then a knock on my door.

" It's open."

Polly opens the door.

" Can I come in?"

I nod.

She joins me on the bed.

" Are you angry with me?"

" Is that a question."

“You sound angry.”

"I am.”

" I had to. I was freaking out."

" Well, you could have at least lied. Said I went to a school trip or something."

She fumbles with her wrist watch.

" Thanks to you, Tray knows I'm seventeen."

" But that's not my fault,"

" It's yours cause you didn't lie. What's the hard thing about lying?"

" I was only worried. I didn't mean anything bad to happen."

Right now I don't care if she's speaking the truth, my head is screaming for Tray. I roll over and bury my face on the pillow.

" Go away," I point the door.

" Hal, I'm..."

" Please just go."

My tears start to flow. I feel Polly still sitting next to me. I curl myself into a ball and squeeze my eyes tight.

Then I hear the door close.

***