BEING HALSEY

CHAPTER 53

Ew.

Ew.

Ewww!

I'm cleaning up the mess.

My whole room smells of whiskey. Tray groans behind me and tosses his sneakers across the room. They hit my door with a loud smack and I cuss.I hope my angry father doesn't hear that noise. He groans again and lays flat on the bed, asleep.

I dump the mat on the bathroom sink and line his shoes beside my door. I crawl into bed and slide up next to him. He’s on top of the covers and I’m underneath. I should probably unbuckle his jeans right? so he can sleep more comfortably.

I slip the button and he shifts and then shifts again and then again. One of his legs rests against mine. He shifts again and now my entire leg, from calf to thigh, rests against his.

I smell his hair.

After what feels like hours his breath slows and his body relaxes. I touch his skin, one of his arms now against mine and the solidness of his body. I study his profile. His lips, his nose, his eyelashes.The wind rattles the panes and my lamp buzzes softly. He scoots closer to me in his sleep and his breath is warm against my neck.

I don't remember closing my eyes. A ray of light glares into my eyes and I squint, disoriented. Daylight. The red numbers on my clock read 9.00am. The creature sleeping next to me turns and kicks off the sheets. One of his hands rests on his stomach and his shirt has hiked up. I can see his abdomen...the V line.

My temperature goes to a hundred degrees hot!

I hop out to go to the bathroom and when I come back he's awake and looking out my window, shirtless. He turns around and rubs the back of his neck.

" Uhm, morning?" I say and glance at the mirror.

“About yesterday—”

“Forget about it, it wasn’t a big deal,” I say. “I cleaned it right up.”

“What cleaned right up?”

Whoops. “Nothing.”

“Did I break something?” He looks confused.

“No! You didn’t break anything. You just, kind of, you know ...” I mime it.

Tray hangs his head and groans. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have come here drunk like that."

I look away. “It’s okay. Really.”

“Did I at least hit the sink?Your shower?”

“It was on the floor. On my mat.” I add, seeing the horrified expression on his face.

“ Sorry.”

“It’s okay."

" I'll go get breakfast, try not to throw anything else."

" I threw something last night?"

" Your shoes. I'll be back."

***

" Halsey," Dad calls and I sit on the empty seat next to him, my hands under the table.

Wow, I'm Halsey.

He's mad. Really MAD!

" Why didn't you tell me? you're seventeen... underage. I expected something better from you, your behavior, you..." He sighs and rubs his forehead. What follows is a painful lecture and a restrain from seeing or talking to Tray.

My Tray.

But thank god I didn't get grounded.

*Applause*

He leaves ten minutes later and informs me that he'll be back before dinner. I feel terrible for not being honest with him. I'm pretty sure he's blaming himself, he feels like he has failed as a father. I want to make it up to him, to show him that I'm a good daughter and I feel so bad for what I did.

I do my chores first before I walk back up to my room. Tray comes out of the bathroom, water dripping from his face to his open chest. I place the cold pineapple juice on my computer counter and sit on the bed.

He sits on the chair infront of me.

I tell him about my lecture as he sips and eats his breakfast.

" He forbade you from seeing me?" He asks with an angry voice.

I nod.

" You know I can't do that right?"

" But Tray, he's my dad and---"

" I CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM YOU!" He shouts, " I know you're seventeen but look at me, I'm still here." He stands and squat infront of me, my hands in his.

" I love you okay? and I want to be with you. If he wants me to apologise, I'll do it a thousand times, only for you." He tilts my chin so I can face him.

" I feel sad."

" Come here," He pulls me to his arms and rakes his fingers in my hair.

" I love you."

***