BEING HALSEY

CHAPTER 71

" GABBY!!! KEN!!!!" I scream and try holding Tray's shoulders to stop him from shaking.

" Tray....Tray..." I raise his head up to my chest.

" What happened?...oh my god, he's having a seizure." Ken says and falls to his knees next to me.

" It must be the pills. Overdose." He says and points a packet of fresh blue and white pills on the night stand and some white powder form.

Foam starts to pour out of Tray's mouth.

" We need to get him to a hospital!" I yell and hug his face close to my chest.

" HURRY!"

***

Twenty minutes later, Tray is loaded in the ambulance for the drive to Brookhaven hospital. Once we reach there, he's placed in a room and the doctors attend to him. I take that time to  ride back with Ken and get some fresh clothes for Tray and food.

I lay on the cot and try to settle myself in for a long night. Tray's sleep patterns are stable and his breathing is normal, thank God.

I text everyone back that I'm fine and they shouldn't worry too much. The nurses make their last rounds and I slowly drift to a quiet sleep.

Somewhere in my sleep the steady clicking of something wakes me up.

Click, click, click, click, the same sound over and over.

I reach through the darkness and feel Tray's bed. The dim light from the bathroom helps me see Tray's body. His entire body is shaking violently.

His face is contorted and his mouth is open.

The clicking and rattling gets even louder.

I push the button to call the nurses then grab Tray by his shoulders and try to settle him. Two nurses step in and take charge immediately. A depressor is sticked in Tray's mouth to prevent an injury to his tongue.

I back away in a corner and look at the surrel image of a badly damaged Tray lost in a crowd of helping hands while the bed shakes and rails clicked. The seizure finally relents and the nurses wash his face with cool water.

I'm too weary and frazzle to do anything other than stare at his body, fingers crossed and pray he makes it through from all of this. Two doctors walk in all grim faced, uttering incomprehensible words among themselves.

" Nurse, Is he going to be okay?" I ask and touch Tray's forehead.

" I can't tell right now but we're going to do more tests." She says and fix the drip on Tray's hand.

" He's calm for now, he should be able to sleep." The other nurse says and they both leave.

I hold Tray's hand and slowly kiss his knuckles.

What have you done Tray?

***

The small chapel is lit with candles surrounded with pink fresh roses. The cross on the stone altar is crudely curved and bare. I enter quietly and sit on the back wooden bench, my gaze fixed at the cross.

I want to pray but I have no idea how to begin praying.

I stare at the altar so intently that the cross seems blur and become a moving fuzz. I close my eyes and breath the damp, cold smell of the place, the hard wood itching against my back.

Why is my life a mess?

Is it Karma?

Can I just be happy for once?

I look up at the roof.

" Please don't take Tray away from me, I'll never forgive myself. All this happened because of me, because I left him."

I get up stiffly and walk to the door, then after pausing for a moment, I wipe a tear away.

***